Laundry Jokes

 

Laundry jokes I've used...
Don't worry, they're always clean!
I dare you NOT to use them sometime!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice and Funny Guy

Trekkies will get the above shirt

Why was the washing machine always calm?

Because it went with the flow

What did one promiscuous sock say to the other sock?

Lets mate

Why did the male sock ask the female sock out on a date?

Cause he was looking for a sole mate

Why didn't Billy Joel's laundry get finished?

Because he didn't start the dryer (sung to the tune of "We didn't start the fire")

Now what did one hat say to the other hat?   
You stay here while I go on a head  

What happened to the leopard that fell into the washing machine?
He came out spotless

What do you call a clothes dryer that swing dances?
A linty-hop

How much fun is doing laundry?
Loads of fun!

I feel like our first president
because I'm washing-a-ton

I just bought a new laundry detergent.
It was a changing of the Tide

Don't ever throw in the towel...it just means more laundry

Why couldn't the actor get a part in the laundromat commercial?
He couldn't get past the audition cycle

What did the shirt get mad at the iron?
Because it pressed its buttons

Why do clothes go to laundry school?
To get a little brighter

How does a fabric softener make friends?
It just acts real smooth

Why do reporters love hanging out at laundromats?
They like to watch people air their dirty laundry

What did the blanket say when it fell out of the laundromat dryer?
"Oh, sheet!"

What is the most common swear word heard in a laundromat?
Sheet!

Why do criminals like going to the laundromat?
Because they can launder their money

Why was the laundromat worker so good at their job? 
They always knew how to handle a heavy load.

You gotta love laundromat humor...it's always clean!
Yes, I have used almost all of these jokes in my own laundromats.
Ev
A Heck of a Puny Guy!

A few bonus non-laundromat jokes:
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Moving Blue Keys Caution

 

Have you ever moved a PayRange Blue Key from one machine to another and went to test it and it didn't work?

For example you have a broken down machine and you are moving the device to a new machine.

Follow these steps otherwise you might have the device appear to work because it takes money off of your account but the washer doesn't start:

1. have power off to the new washer when you install the device

2. turn power on and edit the device for price, time, location, etc.

3. turn power back off

4. leave power off for 30 seconds

5. restore power and test

If money is still being subtracted from your account but the machine isn't starting then edit the device in your account by going to the advanced settings and making sure the pulse rates for all three fields are the same  as a machine that is working.

Sometime the act of moving the devices and plugging it into a different machine will tweak those numbers so they don't match the other working machines.

If it is a brand new type of machine that you don't have any others like it, make sure the pulse rate matches the pulse rate listed in your install guide.

Ev

A Heck of a Nice Guy

Everet's June 2026 Newsletter

 

Everet's June 2026 Laundry Newsletter Thanks for Making the Open House & Service School a Success

Thank you to everyone that attended the Spring Open House and Service School in May. We had 55 affirmative RSVPs and 43 attended at some point during the morning and afternoon sessions. The Qdoba lunch was enjoyed by almost all and it was interesting how many people said they have never had Qdoba before. We gave away several gift certificates, a large screen TV, and a camera drone. Thanks to Michael, Tony, and Jason from Alliance for attending and putting on presentations. I also want to thank Tom Kozlik from Standard Changers for his presentations. We also had Stacy Cooper and Larry Hauser from KioSoft/PayRange and Mark Cummings from Laundroworks for their presentations on cashless payment systems.  I was told by many that I did a good job as MC and people wanted to have a list of my jokes that I told in between the presentations. Maybe that will be a future blog article...

Tidbits From Everet's Answers   Below are articles from my laundry blog:   Deep Clean Your Washers! deep-clean-washers   New Maytag Equipment: first-looks-at-2026-maytag   Water Valve or Water Valve Diaphragm replacement? changing-water-valves-diaphragms   More pictures from the open house. If you have any that you want to share please let me know! 2026-wash-spring-service-school

Clean Washers pt 2 Power Scrubbing

 

It seems my article about deep cleaning your machines deep-clean-washers
hit a cord with several readers and I've gotten questions asked about other ways to keep machines, especially soap drawers clean.
Here is a five minute video with a couple of tips using power scrubbers!

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Security Cameras: Cover Windows

 

This Laundromat no longer exists. I am using this video clip as an example of how to make sure if you have security cameras that you have them pointed at all windows and doorways in addition to things like the washers and dryers and also anything that collects money like the changers or ATM machines. In this particular case criminals came in by breaking the glass and stole the ATM machine. Since the camera was never focused on the entrance or those machines that take money, like the ATM, the criminals were not seen on video as they never walked into the cameras view. If you listen, you can hear the glass breaking as well as the criminals talking. However, you never see them. There are many owners that don't have working cameras. The video cameras in my stores work and they cover all the different areas of the store. Do yours? Ev A Heck of A Camera Guy

Security Cameras: Keep Out!

 

Please click on the video above. It's about 15 seconds long. Sometimes it has a picture in the box to click and sometimes it doesn't.

No matter what kind of neighborhood year Laundromat is located in, you are at some point going to have somebody that comes in who is not up to any good. What is your policy for dealing with these people? Do you even know when they come in? Are you watching your security cameras? How do you deal with people that are using drugs, are drunk, or in some other way making the atmosphere of your Laundromat feel unsafe for customers? Does your staff know how to deal with these situations? Rule number two of owning a successful Laundromat is keep it safe. 

If customers don’t think your Laundromat is safe, you will lose their business. What is your policy for dealing with these people? Do you even know when they come in? Are you watching your security cameras? How do you deal with people that are using drugs, are drunk, or in some other way making the atmosphere of your Laundromat feel unsafe for customers? Does your staff know how to deal with these situations? Rule number two of owning a successful Laundromat is keep it safe. If customers don’t think your Laundromat is safe, you will lose their business.

Ev A Heck of A Sober Guy

Changing Water Valves & Diaphragms

 

If you encounter one of your large chassis washers gushing water into the tub or soap compartment when the machine isn't running odds are you have a problem with the water valve.
You can change the whole valve, however I prefer to start by changing the diaphragm.
Many brands of washers use the same valve.
You order a a replacement kit that comes with the valve tool changer and a few replacement diaphragms and you should be in business.
The video above shows the process.
EV
A Heck of A Nice Guy

MLG45 Dryer Time & Amount to Start

 

You might have come into your store and noticed that the price on one dryer was different than on the other dryers. If that price was changed or the time per quarter was altered, here is how to change back to your regular prices and amount of time per quarter on a Maytag MLG45 stack dryer. Dryers with the same type of computer control, such as the Maytag MLG30, will work in the same way.
Click on the two minute video below to learn how to correct these conditions.

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

24,660 Cycle MHN30

 

When I got my first store in 2011 it was all toploaders.
My first equipment purchase was four Maytag MHN30 front load washers. Like all owners I asked how long is the average life of these washers and the Maytag rep told me 15,400 turns. 
I have a lot of articles on fixing Maytag small washers on this blog. I've often said they are good washers but have a lot of little "ticky tack" repairs that are easy to do but annoying. The door hooks and hinges can break. Buttons and soap drawers crack and pieces break off. User interface boards burn out. Water valves, door boots, belts, pressure switches, pumps, MCUs, CCUs, handles, door trim, coin drops have all been replaced on a  regular basis by myself at all of the stores I've owned or managed.  

 To be fair I just retired the first MHN30 that I bought. The counters are pictured above. It was used 24,660 times! I replaced the door hook twice and the pump once. That's all the repairs it had over 14 years. Why am I retiring it? The anchor points for the struts are broken. #1 washer you served me well. Thank you and now enjoy your retirement! 

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

2026 Spring Service School & Open House Pictures

 May 14th was the date of the Spring Service School and Open House for Milwaukee WASH branch.
Over 40 laundromat owners and managers were in attendance over the course of the morning and afternoon. Attendees learned tips on maintaining their dryers and washers, how to keep their changers up to date or modified to new standards, and the latest in non coin payment methods.
Lunch was provided by Qdoba and there was snacks, drinks, and several raffle prizes.
Price discounts on new equipment and rebates from Huebsch were also available.
Those in attendance were also treated to some great laundromat jokes and entertaining emcee features by myself! That was worth the price of admission (free)! Comments were positive all around so we hope you can join us again at the next event. I'll try to have more laundry jokes if I'm asked to emcee again or if the public demands it... 
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Michael Brooks from Alliance talks about the rigid testing standards of Alliance equipment and the new open source payment system available using a QR code to take customers to a payment website.

Morning session

Afternoon session

Larry Hauser of KioSoft/PayRange works with an owner

Jason Husman of Alliance Finance talks to a multi store owner

Tom Kozlik of Standard Changers talks about the improvement in changer hopper design and build and how customers can convert their old Rowe changers to a Standard Changer without taking the cabinet out of the wall

Mark Cummings of Cents and Laundroworks educated customers on their systems for running the coin op and wash & fold sides of the business

Stacey Cooper explains the merger between KioSoft and PayRange and the products they now offer

Tony Berton of Alliance talks about the repairs owners can do to door locks that have errors or broken parts. Tony led a morning session on washer repair and maintenance and an afternoon session for dryers