May Jokes

It is time for the monthly joke blog.

I send out a monthly enewsletter with articles I wrote or researched and at the bottom of the page were a few jokes (always clean enough to tell your mother!) as a way of generating interest. Nowdays with articles being linked and copied and pasted everywhere you never know where your article will end up. Just to play it safe I now have all the jokes in one blog as opposed to being attached to several different articles. Everyone needs a lugh from time to time. Please enjoy!

Thanks for reading my blog!

Ev

Timely joke:

New Navy Seals motto:  Bin there, done Laden. 

(Thanks to MT for this one!)

Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac?

He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

A person was found murdered in their home. Found laying in the bathtub face down with banna slices and granola covering the body. Police suspect a cereal killer.

Why don't lobsters share?

Because they are shellfish!

If an athlete gets athlete's foot what does an astronaut get?

Mistle toe!

What is Beethoven doing now?

Decomposing!

Confusing Job Ads Lead to Confused Candidates

For years I've been instructing companies on how to write proper job ads to attract the candidates they want regardless of where they advertise. I'm proud to say that many of the companies have taken my lessons to heart. Some have not. Many companies still tell me that despite all the people looking for jobs, their company is getting nothing except more and more unqualified candidates. If your ads are as confusing as the one below, it is no wonder the qualified candidates are not coming in. This is an ad from an actual company I found while sourcing leads. I contacted the recruiter mentioned in the ad with some questions about what they were really looking for. His response is below the ad. Good luck getting the right candidate with this ad. My comments are in parenthesis.
Thanks!
Ev

XYZ123 Corp. is a $100M provider of engineering and IT staff augmentation and project outsourcing services. Since its inception in 1980, XYZ123 has been the preferred service provider to numerous Fortune 500 companies and government entities nationwide. With over 20 offices in the U.S. and additional offices in the U.K. and India, today, the company ranks among the nation’s top-100 firms in its industry.
(Nice but WHY SHOULD I APPLY, what is in it for me)


Intranet Designer
Location: US-WI -Milwaukee
Classification: Information Technology
Required Education: Some College (no degree required? Fine. What if I have tons of experience and never went to college, does that count or do I need "some college?" What if I went to college for something other than IT does that count since I don't need an IT degree?)
Required Travel: Not Applicable
Client: Fortune 500 Client (Am I working WITH or FOR a Fortune 500 client)
Position Type: Contract
Start Date: Immediate
Duration: 2 Months
(What am I being paid? Do I need to have a consultancy already set up?)
Description
Intranet Designer, Milwaukee, WI  (These were already stated)


Develops, organizes, and adds content to Microsoft SharePoint Web sites by performing the following duties.(should be a colon rather than period) Consults with design, technical, engineering, supply chain, finance, and management staff as needed to plan Microsoft SharePoint web site development. Implements plan for Microsoft SharePoint Web Sites including development and modification of user permissions, content types, lists, document libraries, views, web pages, sub-sites, etc. ("Etc.?" What does that mean? I get the staff coffee? Other IT duties?) 


Candidates that know HTML or Microsoft SharePoint best practices are preferred. (What if I know other languages?) Willing to train candidates in both HTML and SharePoint best practices. (Willing to train? So someone with no experience can apply?)

(The above was the entire ad. I called with questions such as, is the company really willing to train, what is the pay, and other questions as I've earlier stated. The recruiter said he would rather email me the answers to my questions and I got the response below)




Hello Everet,
Thank you for your call and follow up email, this is not a entry level position they required minimum 2 years of experience and this required HTML and SharePoint.
Regards,
XYZ123 Recruiter
Sr. Staffing Consultant
XYZ123 Service Corporation  (notice this is a different name than in the ad)
Direct: 555-555-1212X501
Fax: 555-555-1212 XYZ123Recruiter@XYZ123.com
www.XYZ123.com 39209, W. Sixteen Hundred Road, Suite 250, City, MA 48152

If the position requires two years of experience and knowledge of the HTML and SharePoint why isn't it in the ad?
Confusing ads lead to confused candidates, wasted time on your behalf, and lack of good candidates.
In the near future I'll post an example of a better ad.
Thanks!
Ev

The 12 Types of Sales Call Reluctance

Recruiters may not always think of themselves as salespeople, but they definitely are! In fact I believe that recruiters have the toughest sales jobs because for every victory they have to make two sales, one to the client to look at the candidate and another to the candidate to look at the client. As such recruiters are subject to the same pitfalls that traditional salespeople fall into. A big trap is not making enough calls.
Thank you Dudley and Goodson!
Ev

The 12 Types of Sales Call ReluctanceSales researchers Dudley and Goodson came up with the following list of 12 Types of Call Reluctance (excerpted from The Psychology of Sales Call Reluctance).

Call reluctance is an emotional short circuit that diverts energy from the act of prospecting to the act of procrastinating. Instead of making calls, call reluctant salespeople are busy preparing to prepare and avoiding the phone. They allow their fears to stand in the way of their goals- and it extracts a high emotional and financial cost.

Cold Call Reluctance is an internal roadblock. This is not something that exists in any place other than your mind. If I asked you to bring me a jar of “call reluctance” you would not be able to do it. So there is no “call reluctance” in the world, there are only recruiters thinking scary thoughts that make them reluctant to get on the phone.

Call Reluctance can extend beyond the sales call to also avoiding in-person meetings with a prospect. This is detrimental to the sales process because if the recruiter is not making calls, there will be fewer appointments, fewer search assignments, and ultimately lower profits for the recruiter and the company.

Call reluctance researchers George Dudley and Shannon Goodson report that "as many as 80% of all salespeople who fail within their first year do so because of insufficient prospecting activity." In the search industry we know that the vast majority of newbies who attempt our business fail within the first year and much of that failure comes from call reluctance. From a management standpoint, it is important to understand the types of call reluctance and their cures.

CAUSES
Although there are many reasons for Call Reluctance, they can be described within three major categories;

The Fraud Factor:
This has to do with a lack of belief in your ability to deliver great service. Successful selling involves two parts; the first is selling to yourself and the second is selling to your client. If you are not 100% sold on the quality of your service, you will tend to avoid selling situations.

Repeated Failure:
Another reason for Call Reluctance is the fear of repeated failure. This occurs when the Recruiter attempts to attract new clients but continually gets the door slammed in his face. Each time he hears a “no” it makes it harder and harder to pick up the phone and this can become a negative cycle.

Fear of Rejection:
Fear of rejection is a third factor that holds people back from selling with confidence. When a recruiter makes a marketing call to a prospect and goes through his sales questions, he will often meet some level of resistance on the other end of the line. If this rejection is taken personally, it can lead to call reluctance.

Costs:
The costs of call reluctance are very high for both the individual recruiter and the firm owner. High turnover is one result of call reluctance and about seventy five percent of new recruiters don't survive their first year. Call reluctance also has a crushing effect on the spirit and causes frustration and stress. The loss of revenue also affects both the recruiter and the ownership.

The 12 Types of Sales Call Reluctance

Doomsayer: Worries, will not take social risks (loses three new accounts pre month).

Over-Preparer: Over-analyzes, under-acts (sells at 43% of quota)

Hyper-Pro: Obsessed with the image and looking good (but is rated only average in presentation skills.) Confuses packages with prospecting.

Stage Fright: Fear group presentations (loses $10,800 in annual gross sales).

Role Rejection: Secretly ashamed of sales careers; deflects identity (loses four accounts per month).

Yielder: Fears intruding on others (impedes success of TQM programs).

Socially Self-Conscious: Intimidated by up-market clients (sells 33% under quota).

Separationist: Won't mix business and friends (loses three accounts per month).

Emotionally Unemancipated: Won't mix business and family (sells 15% under quota).

Referral Aversion: Fears distributing existing business or client relationships (sells 19% under quota).

Telephobia: Fears using the telephone for prospecting (loses $10,000 in commissions annually).

Oppositional Reflex: Argues, blames, rebuffs attempts at coaching (loses nine new accounts per year.)

Entering the Workforce Can Be Scary

Graduation for college students can be an exciting time, yet scary because it is full of unknowns.

It is a good idea as a new college graduate to seek the advice of alumni on what they did to land their first professional job. In some cases the student already has experience in their chosen field, but needs that little extra advice about how to get to the next step in their career.

One such alumni from the school I work at who is willing to help other graduates understand the ladder they need to climb is Mike Faruta. Mike has an IT degree in Information Systems Security.

He recently got a very nice position at a company in the area as a Senior Network Analyst.

Mike already had experience in his field when he graduated and I asked him for his advice on what I should tell other upcoming graduates from the ISS program.

"Wear a nice, conservative, dark colored suit to your interviews," was one piece o advice Mike imparted. "I had a dozen interviews with good companies. I received no offers. I figured I needed to try something a little different.

I bought myself a better suit than the one I had been wearing. I wore the new suit to my next two interviews and received two offers. I know my field inside and out and I was confident that I was projecting that in my interviews, however I was able to see that my competition for the last two interviews weren't dressed as appropriate as I was and I'm sure that made a positive impression on the employers and reinforced me as the right candidate in their minds."
Mike also talked about the importance of soft skills.

"You need to know how to communicate clearly and effectively. Smile. Shake hands. Be personable. Employers are looking for soft skills in their new hires. They are important and the employer will be looking for those skills both in phone and in-person interviews."
When it comes to the interview, Mike also stressed the importance of bringing a portfolio with polished, detailed, network diagrams of the work done.

"You want a minimum of at least three, but more is better. You want to make sure that you can explain everything in the diagrams and they contain a lot of detail.
In the interview be honest if you don't know something. If you try and fake it an employer will know it by the questions they ask you."
When I asked what certifications a recent grad should have, Mike stressed that the more certifications the better.

"Try to have more than Network+, Security+, and A+. Right now employers look for Cisco Certified Network Administrators. Never stop learning. Take advantage of any opportunity to earn another certification."
I also asked what is a typical entry career for an ISS graduate, because realistically no company is going to hand over their system security to a recent grad and pay them $80,000.

"Junior Network Admin, Assistant Network Admin, or even Help Desk positions are good places to start. You should be able to make $30-$40K to start."
All good advice from a graduate who faced the same challenges as those upcoming grads.

Thanks Mike!

Basic Rules of Using LinkedIn

I love LinkedIn as a professional networking tool. I've Taught several workshops on how to use LinkedIn.
My colleague Kathy Bornheimer wrote a great article on the basics of LinkedIn.
Thanks Kathy!
Ev
A Heck of a Nice Guy

Basic Rules of Using LinkedIn
by Kathy Bornheimer

While LinkedIn is a form of social media and networking, it must be used as a tool with a professional focus. More and more articles are being written about how to use LinkedIn, so here are some major considerations and basic etiquette dos and don’ts:



Why do you have a LinkedIn account?

• I’m a job seeker

• I’m changing or managing my career

• I’m starting a business or becoming self-employed

• I’ve accepted a LinkedIn invitation, opened an account, but don’t know what to do with it.


How often do you review your account and or provide updates?
• Five or six times per week

• Once a week

• Monthly

• When someone reminds me to


How are you using LinkedIn?
• Research purposes; who’s doing what or learning about potential employers/customers

• Educational (networking or business events, seminars, Webinars, etc.)

• Creating a brand or image (how to you portray yourself or services to others)

• Relationship building

Focus on Quality over Quantity


This concept is repeated by all authors on this subject. It’s not the number of connections; it’s the quality and the relationships that you have developed with these connections. Just as important is the fact that these are connections; not friends. You save those people for Facebook. Too many people confuse or mix the two forms of Social Media, keep them separate.


One common trait of both is what you have on your profiles. Since this is Internet based anyone has access to this information. Don’t include anything you wouldn’t want your Mother, boss or certain co-workers to see!


Choose your words and posted activities/updates carefully. If you are currently employed, your manager/supervisor will be able to view this material by simply accessing LinkedIn. You also have to be mindful of your contacts and their information being accessible to their employers or competition.


One area that is repeatedly neglected is the photograph. All LinkedIn “experts” agree that this is a necessity and increases you’re ability to be contacted by the right people. As I often say;


“Very few of us are good looking; but most of us can look good.”


Business apparel for some is best and business casual is a minimum requirement. Look friendly, smart and approachable in your “head shot”, plus choose your background according to your coloring (complexion, hair and clothing).


Build your Network with a Purpose


You should be helping as often as asking for help or resources. Reciprocity goes a long way and is rewarded; always find ways to help people in your network. If you’ve chosen them wisely, they will be helping you. Monitor and modify your connections if/when necessary. If someone is not returning your calls nor replying to your emails, you should consider removing them.


Be mindful of 2nd generation connections in regards to mutual benefits. This is another greatly overlooked and under used feature of LinkedIn.
Other Rules


• No duplicate accounts, it confuses people and the inferior one will detract from your image and purpose.
• No personal or controversial comments or updates.
• You can say “No” to an invitation, but do it tactfully.
• Stay positive! Bad mouthing a person, employer, company or event can easily backfire. Since your comments/updates are brief, misinterpretation or a misunderstanding can occur.
• Be consistent, brief and purposeful with your updates. You need to keep yourself in front of people at reasonable intervals.
• Congratulate people in your network when they succeed (Update post or recommendation).


LinkedIn is a great tool and user-friendly. It’s the applications and the fluidity of this form of Social Media that makes it great for those who know how to use it wisely and well.

May Newsletter

Greetings!
Welcome to the May edition of my newsletter. You didn’t miss April’s edition.
I’ve just switched publishing dates to the 30th rather than the 15th of the month.

Almost all of the employers I’m talking to say they are looking to hire at least a few people by the end of the year. That is a good sign!

How many emails do you come across from job seekers with mistakes? The link to this month’s featured article is about the 10 rules every job seeker (and the rest of us) should follow when writing emails to employers:
http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/10-netiquette-rules-every-job-seeker.html

One demand that hasn’t been lacking with the recession is the need for good salespeople. I've written several articles on how to recruit salespeople, especially if you are a small business owner. But what should you pay them?http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/youve-decided-to-hire-salesperson-what.html

For those of you who enjoy my newsletter for the jokes, or if you just need a little laugh, you can access the jokes by clicking here:
http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html


Last month almost 600 of you clicked on the links. Thank you for everything! Have a great May!
Everet Kamikawa
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

LinkedIn profile

Spell Names Correctly

Everett
Evert
Everette
Everit
Evrit
Evertet

Ervert Milwaukeeah is my favorite!

Are just some of the ways people have misspelled my name over the years. I was always taught that spelling a person's name is a sign of respect for that person. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. I understand that and have have made mistakes myself.

If you are writing an email to respond to someone and they have a signature line in their email, please check it to make sure you are spelling their name correctly in your response.

I recently ran a poll on this topic. How would you have voted?

Thanks for voting and reading!
Ev

Why So Unhappy?

The old saying is "if you love your job you never have to work a day in your life." I think there is truth to that statement. Follow your dreams. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled. Being happy at work means being happier at home. According to the article below written by Jessica Dickler based on data from Manpower, 84% of workers plan to look for a job in 2011.
http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/84-of-jobseekers-looking-in-2011.html


I think the interesting question is why are so many people looking?
Is it:

frustration with the job

people feeling trapped because of the economy that they feel they can't leave

younger generations not believing they have to stay at one company for their working lives

since there isn't company loyalty to employees, people being preemptive about looking before they get fired

all of the above

I think all of the above is true. A also think there is another possibility. The change of what our economy is based on. This country used to be about making things: cars, machinery, electronics, textiles, and all their parts were made in this country. This went on for generations. I believe it became ingrained in us as a country. At the heart of the matter is I'm wondering if because we have moved more towards a service economy and don't make as many products in this country as we used to, that people's satisfaction at work is lower because we're not in careers that at the end of the day we can hold something in our hand and see proof of what we made, or proof we made a difference that day by providing something that someone can use.
Deep down I think we are a culture that likes to build things. Work with our hands. As our society has moved away from making tangible things that are easy for everyone to see and touch and explain to others, we're losing the ability to say to others "look what I did!" Lacking in this easy method of showing others what we do makes it a little harder for us to understand as well. We are still able to do that to some extent, but it is a lot harder to show someone lines of computer code and have them understand what we do for a living than show someone a piece of machinery. In some careers, like IT, I'm wondering if it might be that what we produce can't be easily explained. How does a disaster recovery specialist or a cold fusion programmer explain to someone what they do without going beyond simple language and examples unless the person they are explaining it to has the same experience.


I'm not sure if all of the above reasons listed are the only reasons people move jobs. I'm sure there are many more. The reason I'm talking about is something that I don't think anyone can exactly put a finger on. I've been writing and rewriting this article talking about the fundamental reason and I'm not quite sure I've got it quite where I want it. It seems the more research I do the more I get lost and rewrite the article. I think what I am trying to pin down isn't something that can be told with stats. This is just a "gut feeling." I believe that whatever you want to use to explain why so many people are unhappy in their jobs there is something more latent in our culture that is coming to the forefront with the transition from one type of economy to another. The recession, political shifts, world events, etc. that are all climaxing in a "perfect storm" of something. I'm just not sure what that "something" is, so your thoughts are welcome.


Thanks for reading my article!
Ev
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

7 Signs Your Employees Are Poachable

I previously published a blog about how 80% of the workforce could be looking for a job in 2011.
http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/84-of-jobseekers-looking-in-2011.html
How do you know your employees are looking or are even suseptable to being picked up by other employers?
A recent article by Michael R. Greco & Christopher P. Stief talks about those signs.
Feel free to read it here or click on the link below the article.
Thank you Michael and Christopher for providing this insight.
Ev

7 Signs Your Employees Are Poachable
April 18, 2011 08:00 by Michael R. Greco & Christopher P. Stief



A recent survey by Manpower suggests that employers across the country are planning to increase their hiring during the second quarter of 2011. Are your employees poachable? Consider the following:


1) Is employee morale down? If so, it may not be long before the word is out. With the use of social media growing exponentially, there are more ways than ever before for recruiters to learn if employees are fed up with their companies and ready to tip toe out the door. You want to know if your employees are unhappy before your competitors do. Don’t wait until they are broadcasting their discontent on social networks. If you are unclear about how your employees feel, conduct an internal survey to measure morale before it’s too late.


2) Is upheaval shaking up your industry? Employees working in industries that are facing increased regulation, an onslaught of mergers or uncertainty about tomorrow’s profitability are more apt to want to leave to find a more stable environment. If your industry is in transition, don’t leave your employees guessing about what’s going on. Be open and honest. Employees who feel
like they are being kept in the know feel more loyalty to their companies and are less likely to bolt for the door when turbulence is afoot.


3) Are you experiencing turnover at the top? CEO turnover is higher than it’s ever been. Unfortunately, unrest in the upper levels of management can cause a chain reaction of defections. Employees may either want to follow their boss out the door or may feel that a new manager is chasing them away. Before making changes at the top, consider how managers closest to the CEO will respond. Will they likely be relieved or more willing to leave? Conversely, involve top managers in the decision-making process to replace their leader.


4) Are your employees are well trained and/or specialized? Having the best of the best employees is a blessing and a curse. A popular exchange rounding the internet these days between a fictitious CFO and CEO reads as follows: “CFO to CEO: What if we train our employees and they leave us? CEO to CFO: What if we don’t and they stay?” The fact is, employees with highly specialized expertise are probably the most poachable of all. Your competitors will be pleased to find talent with fine-tuned skills and low-learning curves, and they may believe such employees are well worth the risk of litigation. If you’re investing heavily in training, invest equally in retention by rewarding employees. But, don’t focus solely on money as a motivator. Provide personalized options. Some employees might choose a flexible work schedule over a plump paycheck and these employees are worth being catered to. 5) Is your competition moving in? If your competitor has opened a new office in one of your territories, they are probably making a beeline for your back door. It’s cheaper to poach your talent than to fly in candidates from across the country. Now is an optimal time to let your employees know that you care.


6) Are you in the professional services industry? Employees who embody the product are prime candidates for poaching because they often have clients that are willing to come along for the ride, exponentially boosting their value. Remember that your client list may qualify for trade secret protection, and of course, you should protect your company with suitable restrictive covenants. But the best prevention is to keep your employees happy.

7) Are you sharing the bounty? During the recent economic downturn, many employers were forced to tighten their belts. In turn, employees were asked to make sacrifices. Many employees responded favorably because they were grateful to have a job, and putting in a few extra hours or foregoing an annual raise was viewed as a reasonable sacrifice to remain employed in a difficult economy. But as the economy rebounds, employees are taking notice. As your profits increase, are you sharing the bounty with employees? As noted above, this does not always mean paying employees a bonus or giving them a raise. Consider offering employees special training opportunities. Ambitious employees are always looking to improve themselves. Are you providing them with training opportunities to expand and sharpen their existing skillsets?


In this environment where many employees are looking for a change and recruiters are happy to oblige their wishes, noncompetes are not optional. When used in conjunction with competitive intelligence and retention techniques, you can have a comprehensive strategy to fend-off intruders from absconding with your valuable talent, trade secrets and clients during these precarious times. Let your employees know you care, and cater to their interests. But of course, some employees may choose to join a competitor. For these departures, it is important to be prepared with a plan of action.


Michael R. Greco and Christopher P. Stief are partners in the Employee Defection & Trade Secrets Practice Group at Fisher & Phillips LLP.

http://linkd.in/eZqt7V