March Jokes

Enjoy the jokes for this month.
Thanks for reading the blog!
Ev

Why does a horse have 6 legs?
-Because it has forelegs in front and two behind!

How do you make a jacket last?
-Make the trousers first!

What do you call a three legged donkey?
-A Wonkey!

What gets bigger the more you take away?
-A hole!

What fish is famous?
-A star fish!

What is brown and stickey?
-A Stick!

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to screw in the light bulb most of the way, and one to give it a suprising twist at the end!

Thanks to LK for submitting the next two jokes after receiving the February newsletter:

What happened to the frog's car that was parked illeagally?
-It was toad.

Sign in Parking Lot:
-Frog Parking Only - All Others Will be Toad

Don't Be That Guy pt. 2

In this post we continue the article by Paul McCord:

9. Are you that guy who thinks he's Capital Ahab, passing by all the small fish while single mindedly hunting for Moby Dick? That whale hunter guy is usually a short-timer. That guy can't be bothered with average sales. They're just a waste of time for after all, all he needs is to land one whale and that will be worth dozens of small sales. While he's out starving trying to land that elusive whale, his fellow sellers are making a good living brining in the fish that are all around. Whale hunters have tall tales to tell when they succeed--but most are telling their tales in the unemployment line.

10. We all know that guy who is a plastic mannequin of a salesperson--the one with all the right "stuff"--the gold watch, expensive car, high dollar clothes. He hangs out at the right upscale bar after work. He's that guy who has all of the signs of success--but none of the actual success. He works one or two extra jobs and lives in an apartment with no furniture in order to be able to afford the appearance of success. He works harder to look like a success than if he actually worked to be a success. Don't be that guy who so desperately needs to be seen as successful that he'll spend all of his time putting on the airs and never has time to actually become successful.

11. That guy can also be an office hermit--so afraid of rejection that he spends all of his time in the office doing busy work and never getting out into the light of day. That guy is a hard worker, no doubt. He is in the office early and often leaves late. He is forever compiling lists, creating collateral material, helping customer service, shipping, finance, the clerical staff and anyone else he can think of. In fact, he is ready, willing, and able to anything that will keep him from having to leave the office. That guy would make an ideal office staffer and might even work well in inside sales, but he is a complete disaster in outside sales.

12. That guy also comes in the form of an old-time gunslinger; shooting from the hip. The problem is he isn't Doc Holliday but is instead Don Knotts' shakiest gun in the west. He doesn't have time to learn anything about the products or services he sells, no time to learn anything about selling, persuasion, or presenting. Nope. His game is to go out and wing it figuring if he talks fast enough and makes up enough crap as he goes along he'll talk 'em into buying. Sales gunslingers end up in boot hill pretty quickly in today's marketplace.

13. That guy can also be the king of discounts, giving away the store to every prospect he comes across. Have an objection? He counters with a discount. The product not right? He gives a discount. Thinking about a competitor's product? Discount. Don't like the color? Discount. Have the hiccups? Discount. To that guy the word margin simply means with space around the edges of his brochure where he can write the newest discounted price he is offering you. In a tough market lots of sellers try to be that guy--don't because they don't last long.

14. Finally that guy is sometimes an eternal optimist, hanging on to every "prospect"--and everyone is a prospect. He'll invest time and effort calling and visiting, he'll do proposals until the cows come home, and he'll give them all the specs and all the quotes they ask for--no matter how poor a prospect they may be; no matter how unable to afford his product or service they are; no matter how direct they have been in letting him know they'll never buy from his company. That guy just won't cut the dead weight out of his database. He won't recognize the tremendous amount of wasted time and energy he puts into non-prospects.

Do you recognize yourself in any of the guys above? I hope you don't but probably 30% or more of all sellers fit in one or more of the above categories. If you are in one of the above descriptions, you're flirting with sales failure for these are the behaviors that lead directly to failing miserably in sales. Don't be that guy. To read Paul McCord's full article click here: http://www.salesresources.com/articles/article.cfm?ID=1714

Don't Be That Guy pt. 1

I've never understood people that have no motivation to find a better job or do the best job they can in their job. That is not always to say that I'm at the top of my game but at least I always TRY! Here is an article I found addressing that point because I'm sure you know job seekers, recruiters, and salespeople that are "That Guy." Since this blog is written for multiple audiences, if you substitute the word for your profession you'll get the idea.
Thanks!
Ev
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

THAT GUY, Part 1: Don't Be THAT GUY by Paul McCord

No one wants to be THAT guy--the guy who is a failure, who can't pay the rent, who just can't get it together (ladies, be nice, I'm using guy as an absolutely sex neutral pronoun). But we all want to be THAT guy--the one who is extremely successful, who has his life together, who everyone envies and wants to emulate. What separates THAT guy who is a failure from THAT guy who is a star? When we boil it down it comes to actions and attitudes. The problem is there are so many more actions and attitudes that lead to failure than lead to success. Frankly that's the reason it is so easy to fail and so hard to succeed. The path to success is steep and narrow while the path to failure is wide and easily traversed. So, what are the actions and attitudes that that failure guy has? Here are a few of the more prevalent actions that that failure guy engages in. I hope you don't see yourself in any of these:

1. That guy loves to hang around the water cooler shooting the breeze. Once they've discussed last night's ballgame or hot date they don't miss a chance to bitch and moan about the crappy products and services they have to sell, how lucky that big producer is who just seems to always be in the right place at the right time, how bad management is screwing them, and how they'll never be able to make their unrealistic quotas in this economy. That guy knows all the good gossip and all the office's problems.

2. That guy also realizes that he can't possibly make prospecting calls until he is fully prepared and that means he has to make his own collateral material since the marketing department has no idea what they're doing. He can't use the junk marketing provides so he must spend his time creating a number of fliers and leave behinds just in case he does talk to someone interested in a product or service. You'll find that guy at his desk everyday getting ready to make the calls that he never makes.

3. Many times that guy knows far more than anyone else in the company. He certainly knows more than his manager and folks in the training department. But he also knows more than anyone in marketing and certainly more than those dopes in the executive suite. With only a few days in the industry, much less with the company, he has already figured out what's wrong with the way the company is managed and with the way the company tries to sell. In fact, that guy knows so much he won't be with the company long enough to learn just how little he does know.

4. Sometimes that guy is an absolute committed professional who will not compromise his professionalism--and everyone knows professionals don't: cold call, walk into offices cold, send out unsolicited emails, try to talk someone into a conversation they might not want to have, intrude on someone, or ask an uncomfortable question like asking them make a definitive yes/no decision. That guy can only deal with prospects that come to him since everyone knows that's what professionals do. Then he goes and stands with all of the other professionals at the unemployment line.

5. Often you'll find that that guy knows exactly how good he is and he doesn't mind telling anyone who will listen--and he'll make sure you listen. He'll let you know that he is going to be the biggest thing the company has ever seen. He'll tell you straight out how many people he knows who'll buy, what incredible contacts he has, how good a closer he is, and how he has the skills and talent to blow the hell out of all the company's sales records. Unfortunately for him and the company he never actually does anything. In Texas we'd call him 'all hat; no cattle,' that is, he talks the talk but doesn't even begin to walk the walk. By all means, don't be that guy.

6. A very close cousin to that guy above is that guy who makes everything about him. All of his talk is about what he has done, what he is doing, and what he is going to do. Sounds a lot like the guy above, huh? Well he is--but he carries this 'me' attitude with him when he gets in front of a prospect. Consultative selling? Solution selling? Meeting the prospects wants and needs? None of these are important to that guy. The only thing important is meeting his own wants and needs. The conversation with a prospect is all about him--how this sale will make him number one in the company for the month; how he sells more of this particular product than anyone else in the company; how he can get the prospect an unheard of discount because he is the top salesperson in the company; how lucky the prospect is to be dealing with him instead of someone else.

7. Sometimes that guy is an old school guy, using the high pressure, strong-arm tactics of the 60's and 70's. That guy is not only still around, but you can easily find him breaking arms and bashing heads in some traditional high pressure industries such as auto sales, MLM companies, and some others. Fortunately these industries are rapidly changing and have fewer and fewer old school, high pressure salespeople; but they're still there and you'll find them in almost every industry. That guy's a dying breed--as you'll be if you're that guy.

8. There was a time when it was cute that every kid who played a sport or participated in any event was treated like a winner. Everybody got a trophy for doing no more than showing up. No one kept score because they all deserved to win and no one wanted to crush the kid's delicate self-image. Well, it isn't so funny anymore. Those kids are now adults and guess what? That guy wants a big salary and lots of benefits for just showing up. That guy thinks life owes him the rewards not because he earned them but because he and his parents bought into the Woody Allen nonsense that "80% of life is showing up." If you're that guy you better change your thinking quickly or start looking for a new job.

To read the full article by Paul McCord click here:
http://www.salesresources.com/articles/article.cfm?ID=1714 Paul McCord is the author of the popular Sales and Sales Management Blog Copyright 2010 Paul McCord

Economic Trends for 2011

We're almost through the first quarter of 2011.
Below are some stats from a January article by the Biz Times that were compiled from a number of sources.
None of them took into account full scale revolution in the middle east and a disaster in Japan, however are they still on track? Many of the employers I talk to still echo these positive ideas when they look long term at 2011 and that is good news for hiring! What do you think?
Ev
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

Economic Trends 2011: It’s time to get BACK TO
BUSINESS; Steve Jagler

1. Economist Michael Knetter, President and CEO of
the University of Wisconsin Foundation predicts
4% growth in GDP resulting in improved job
creation and lower unemployment for 2011.

2. The American Automotive industry continues to
recover which bodes well for Wisconsin
manufacturers of automotive parts.

3. Metropolitan Milwaukee ranks as the third-best
net employment market in the nation, according
to the latest Manpower Employment Outlook
Survey.

4. Automatic Data Processing Inc. (ADP) said U.S.
private-sector employment jumped a record
297,000 in December, signaling that the economic
recovery is picking up its pace.

5. The national unemployment rate fell to 9.4% in
December, the lowest since May of 2009,
according to the U.S. Department of Labor. The
Wisconsin unemployment rate has consistently
tracked more than two percentage points below
the national average.

Employment: Job market on the mend; Alysha Schertz

According to Owen Sullivan, executive vice president of
Milwaukee-based Manpower Inc. and chief executive officer
of Manpower subsidiaries Right Management and Jefferson
Wells:

• The overall economies of southeastern Wisconsin and the
rest of the world are showing signs of improvement.

• During the latter half of 2010, more companies were adding
temporary workers to fulfill their inventory demand needs,
and more jobs are becoming permanent placement
positions, a trend that will continue in 2011.

• 30% of employers in the U.S. and up to 34% across the
globe are having problems finding employees with the right
skills.

• The retirement trend will sustain for the next ten years. It’s
a global issue … that will become even bigger if the problem
isn’t addressed now.

Metropolitan Milwaukee Association of Commerce: MMAC employers are optimistic about 2011; Steve Jagler

According to the latest Business Outlook Survey conducted by the MMAC, Milwaukee area businesses are expressing
solid optimism about 2011 as a whole and for the year’s first quarter.

1. 66% of surveyed companies see real sales increases.
a. Manufacturers are more optimistic than non-manufacturers. 88% see sales increases for 2011.
b. Smaller firms are somewhat more confident than larger firms.

2. 67% of all employers surveyed see profit level increases.

3. More than half of those surveyed expect job increases in 2011.
a. Manufacturers were particularly optimistic.
b. By employment size, job expectations are fairly even.

4. Salary and wage expectations have risen in recent quarters but remain moderate in size.
a. The average change in a person’s wages and salaries is predicted to rise 2.2%, above the prediction from three months ago.

Council of Small Business Executives: Small business executives bullish on 2011; Steve Jagler

The majority of members of the Council of Small Business Executives (COSBE) board of directors in Milwaukee expect
2011 to be a year of more revenues, more hiring and more investments in technology or equipment. 63.2% said 2011
will be a good year.

1. 89.5% expect their companies’ revenues will grow.

2. 63.2% expect their companies to add to their workforce.

3. 63.2% plan to hire temporary help

4. 52.6% expect to make significant investments in new technology or equipment.


Economic Trends for 2011
Research Compilation, Biz Times, January 21, 2011
Researched and Compiled by:
Impact Consulting Group, LLC 125 North Executive Drive #378 Brookfield, WI 53005
262-821-8178 www.livingasaleader.com

So What is .JOBS?

Remember a few years ago when companies were encouraged to register (COMPANY NAME).JOBS for their career sites? It never really caught on as most companies included their recruitment pages as part of their regular websites.
Now it is back.
Here is an article by Bill Warren explaining why:

Top Employers Announce a Transformation in Online Recruiting
By Bill Warren January 18, 2011
Leading U.S. Employers Launch New Job Listing “.JOBS Universe”

Indianapolis, IN USA - January 18, 2011 – Over 500 leading U.S. employers, including some of the largest companies in the world, are joining forces to transform how people use the Internet to quickly and efficiently locate valid employment opportunities.

The catalyst is the unique dot-jobs (.JOBS) Top Level Domain (TLD). The new platform, called the .JOBS Universe (www.universe.jobs), is a stunning transformation comprised of tens of thousands of geographic, industry, and occupational web sites ending in the intuitive .JOBS suffix. Examples of web sites in the .JOBS Universe include www.boston.jobs, www.atlanta.jobs, www.insurance.jobs, www.technology.jobs and www.usa.jobs.

Leading employers have rallied around the ambitious plan that allows all companies, regardless of size or industry, to list jobs free of charge, automatically upload new listings on a daily basis, and intelligently distribute job listings to relevant web sites. For example, an IBM listing for an engineering job in New York will be distributed to multiple relevant websites, such as www.newyork.jobs and www.engineering.jobs.

The .JOBS Universe is led by Bill Warren, Executive Director of DirectEmployers Association, a former President of the Monster.com job board who is widely regarded as the founder of online recruiting. Approximately forty thousand of the .JOBS domains, including 126 international locations, will be functioning in January with tens of thousands more planned by the end of the year.

Mr. Warren states “The very largest of employers in the world have pooled their resources to build this recruitment vertical. They want greater efficiencies from the Internet and are taking matters into their own hands to invest in the outcome. With the recent advances in cloud computing, the scalability of the .JOBS Universe is off the charts. The potential for cost savings is natural, real and sustainable as well as available free of charge to every employer worldwide regardless of industry or size.”

Benefits job seekers will find include intuitive web site entry points, verified job listings and the ability to connect directly with employers. "I'm excited about the .JOBS Universe because it's going to revolutionize the way someone will look for a job. Right now the process is very difficult. It takes so much time and there's so much duplication of effort. With .JOBS, candidates will be able to go to one, intuitive location and know that the opportunities listed are straight from employers," says Randy Goldberg, Vice President Recruiting, Hyatt North America Operations.

Job listings in the .JOBS Universe are fully integrated with social media such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube and others. Job seekers can build their own profile and identify which of their friends or connections are working at a particular company of interest. They can also find and follow companies and recruiters on the various social networks and share job listings with their friends on social news sites. The .JOBS Universe platform has also been optimized for easy access on mobile browsers. Its “open source” approach allows industry vendors to develop apps that will result in even greater efficiencies in the future.

Mr. Warren adds “Building out the .JOBS TLD, owned and managed by employers through a non-profit association, is revolutionary for the Internet and a gigantic step for both employers and job seekers. It provides employers low-cost advertising and branding opportunities while reducing recruiting costs. It also provides job seekers a direct connection to employers and a trusted, reliable source on the Internet to locate employment opportunities.”

The .JOBS Universe is the result of a proposal made by DirectEmployers Association to Employ Media LLC, the licensed operator of the .JOBS TLD.



Will .JOBS be the next panacea for online recruiting? I personally don't think so.

I beleive that .JOBS is one more grasp my the big job boards to remain the main source for online recruiting by connecting everything with social media. That is a good thing, however companies are already doing that, so why bother placing their ads on yet another website?

Time will tell.
Thanks for reading!

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

What Employers are REALLY Saying In Their Ads...

First quarter is traditionally a busy hiring time. If you are a job seeker or an employer you might want to read the following article.
Employers the following are examples of why I've been hammering for years why you need to get rid of these cliches in your job ads!

Job seekers now you know what everything in the job ads mean!

Obviously I'm being a little tongue-in-cheek here.
Enjoy the humor. Thanks to EB who submitted this to me!
Ev

What companies are really saying in their ads…

COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:
We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won't answer questions

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend

DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Ditch the Generic Resume Phrases

I've preached about eliminating the generic phrases from your resume for many years now.

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/constructing-billy-skywalkers-resume_10.html

Liz Ryan has compiled ten ‘boilerplate phrases’ that she says many job seekers plug into their resume time and time again as meaningless fillers.
She writes “Stodgy boilerplate phrases in your resume today mark you as uncreative and vocabulary challenged. You can make your resume more compelling and human-sounding by rooting out and replacing the boring corporate-speak phrases that litter it, and replacing them with human language – things that people like you or I would actually say.”

Here are the culprits:

Results-oriented professional.
Cross-functional teams.
More than [x] years of progressively responsible experience.
Superior (or excellent) communication skills.
Strong work ethic.
Met or exceeded expectations.
Proven track record of success.
Works well with all levels of staff.
Team player.
Bottom-line orientation
Get rid of these phrases and be specific to your abilities and what you can provide an employer and you'll get more calls back and more interviews!

Thanks!Ev
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

To read Liz's full article click here:
http://www.asklizryan.com/library/tenboilerplatephrasesthatkillsresumes.html

Answers to Job Seeker Complaints

There is lots of advice out there about how to handle certain situations when looking for jobs.
Here is a site I found helpful and easy to understand:http://www.martynemko.com/articles/job-seeker-complaints_id1421
Marty Nemko is a contributing editor to US News & World Report and also has his own radio show.
I've posted one of his articles below.
Ev

Job Seeker Complaints
By Marty Nemko

When job seekers call my office or radio show, here are their most common complaints and how I respond.

I’ve applied for a dozen jobs for which I’m qualified, and I haven’t even gotten one interview.

You have three options:

1. Stay in contact with all those employers. After learning what you can from the organization’s website, explain that you’re excited about the prospect of working there, describe how you might benefit the organization, and ask if the employer would keep you in mind, if not for the advertised jobs, for upcoming ones. Unless an employer insists you leave him alone for now and evermore, follow up monthly with all these employers until you’ve landed a job. Meanwhile, keep answering on-target ads and writing compelling e-mail to target employers that have not advertised jobs. Even if you get no response, keep following up.

2. Tell everyone who likes you that you’re looking for a job. Ask if they can get you an inside connection.

3. Expand your job search to less competitive areas. In most metropolitan areas, the job market is most competitive for jobs in brand-name companies, the arts, non-profits, and the media. Things may be better in the government sector and in non-glamour industries such as transportation, law enforcement, business-to-business services, and in sales. You will also find the job market stronger in certain areas of the country. The states with the lowest unemployment rates are South Dakota (3.2%), North Dakota (3.5%), and Nebraska (3.9%). In the last 12 months, Florida created the most new jobs: 80,000.

I’m getting interviews but no job offers. The most likely reason is that you did poorly in the interviews. Did you research the organization and the position? Did you describe why you’re excited about the position? Did you tell success stories that show you’re likely to help the organization? Then there are the intangibles. Videotape yourself in a mock interview with a friend or counselor. Would you hire you? Sometimes, your interviewing skills can be fine but you simply don’t have the expertise to put you top-of-the-heap. Do you need to upgrade your skills? Should you find a career that better uses your strengths and avoids your weaknesses? Finally, a trusted reference can turn out to be not so trustworthy. So speak again with your references and ask, “Honestly, do you believe you’re in a position to provide a strong reference for me?”

I want to change careers but no one will hire me without experience. Especially in a tight job market, this is understandable. Why hire someone who’ll have to learn the job while you’re paying him, who will make the inevitable beginner mistakes, and who won’t have a Palm full of contacts? If you’re changing careers, the person most likely to hire you already knows you and likes you enough to endure the hassles of hiring a novice. Don’t know someone like that? Consider starting at the bottom (that could mean receptionist) and impress the higher-ups with your aptitude and attitude. Or become self-employed. Self-employment is a terrific option for people who don’t have the credentials to impress employers but who are quick-thinking self-starters, and who are good at selling themselves.

I can’t find the time to look for a job. I understand, especially if you’re working full-time, if there’s no private place for you to talk at work, and if you have family responsibilities after work. Alas, for all but star candidates, looking for a job is normally a few-month 20-hour a week effort. If you spend much less than that, your job search can drag on for a year or longer. Remember, much of the job search can be done at night and on weekends: resume preparation, posting your resume on websites, answering ads, phoning and e-mailing your personal network, participating in online discussion groups, and researching potential employers. A job search, however, does usually require cutting back on TV, playing golf, and chatting with Aunt Susie.

But the effort can be worth it. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Far away, life’s best gift is the ability to work hard at work worth doing.”