July 2013 Jokes

Jokes (Always clean enough to tell your mother):Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
Halfway!
(thanks to Fozzy Bear for that joke)


A man's dog is hit by a car, so he takes it to the vet.
The vet says,
"Sorry sir, but your dog is dead."
The owner, upset, says "I want a second opinion."
The vet opens the door and a labrador comes walking in.
The dog walks around the dead dog, then barks, then leaves the room.
The vet looks at the owner, of the dead dog, "Sorry sir, your dog is dead."
Still unsatisfied, the owner says I want a third opinion.
The vet walks to the door again and opens it, a cat comes in to the room and walks around the dead dog, then meows, and then leaves the room.
The vet again, turns to the owner, "Sorry sir, your dog is dead."
The owner turns and walks out of the room and up to the front desk, and gets the bill.
He became horrified at the price.
He turns to the vet, "$600 dollars? For what?"
The vet looks at the owner and says, "It would have been only 50 dollars for me, but you wanted the LAB test and CAT scan."