Laundry Jokes

 

Laundry jokes I've used...
Don't worry, they're always clean!
I dare you NOT to use them sometime!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice and Funny Guy

Trekkies will get the above shirt

Why was the washing machine always calm?

Because it went with the flow

What did one promiscuous sock say to the other sock?

Lets mate

Why did the male sock ask the female sock out on a date?

Cause he was looking for a sole mate

Why didn't Billy Joel's laundry get finished?

Because he didn't start the dryer (sung to the tune of "We didn't start the fire")

Now what did one hat say to the other hat?   
You stay here while I go on a head  

What happened to the leopard that fell into the washing machine?
He came out spotless

What do you call a clothes dryer that swing dances?
A linty-hop

How much fun is doing laundry?
Loads of fun!

I feel like our first president
because I'm washing-a-ton

I just bought a new laundry detergent.
It was a changing of the Tide

Don't ever throw in the towel...it just means more laundry

Why couldn't the actor get a part in the laundromat commercial?
He couldn't get past the audition cycle

What did the shirt get mad at the iron?
Because it pressed its buttons

Why do clothes go to laundry school?
To get a little brighter

How does a fabric softener make friends?
It just acts real smooth

Why do reporters love hanging out at laundromats?
They like to watch people air their dirty laundry

What did the blanket say when it fell out of the laundromat dryer?
"Oh, sheet!"

What is the most common swear word heard in a laundromat?
Sheet!

Why do criminals like going to the laundromat?
Because they can launder their money

Why was the laundromat worker so good at their job? 
They always knew how to handle a heavy load.

You gotta love laundromat humor...it's always clean!
Yes, I have used almost all of these jokes in my own laundromats.
Ev
A Heck of a Puny Guy!

A few bonus non-laundromat jokes:
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?