September 2013 Jokes

Jokes:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Oh look! I'm a tree!

Voicemail Strategies for Salespeople & Recruiters

Salespeople and recruiters!
Are you frustrated by voicemail?
Do you keep getting lost in voicemail mazes?
Ever feel like your sales calls are being screened?
If you’re being disciplined in your approach to cold calling and hitting your daily number of dials, you’re probably listening to a lot of voice mail messages. What should you do to get through to more people?

Recently I gave a presentation on this topic to the Recruiter Network.
Here is some advice:

1. Call back later
Make at least five attempts to get the person live before leaving a message. Try calling at different times during the day – early morning, right before or after lunch, after 5.
I've always found the best times to reach someone is before 9am, 11:30ish, 3:30-5:30.

2. Make sure you try different days
Monday mornings typically stink because people are getting ready for their week or in early meetings. Friday afternoons stink, especially in cold weather states in the spring and summer because people leave early to enjoy nice weather. That doesn't give you an excuse to NEVER try on those days!

3. Be brief
When leaving a message, the goal is to get them to call you back.
It’s NOT to go through your opening pitch. So the shorter and more direct you are the better. Try “Hi ___, this is (your first & last name). 414.325.8425. Then hang up.
The prospect will probably wonder who you are and how they know you. This message will usually result in one of three things:
a. prospect will call you back and either pretend they know you or say they don't know you but want to know why you are calling
b. your message will sit on their desk and will eat at their curiosity until you call them back
c. when you call back their gatekeeper will try to get more information from you

4. Be prepared
The trouble with leaving a message is you put some control in the prospect’s hands. When cold calling you can get your “game face” on and be completely focused on the prospect you’re calling. When they call you back, you’ll be in the middle of something else and it will take you a moment to get into sales mode. Keep track of where you’ve left messages and have your notes or files handy so you can grab them when they call back.

5. Wait two days before calling them back
Once you leave a message you need to give the prospect a chance to return it. However, if they have not called you back within two business days, put them back in your calling queue and dial again on the third day.

6. Repeat and don’t give up
If you keep getting their voice mail, keep making your calls and start leaving more details on the message you leave every third attempt. Your persistence will pay off. A busy executive once told me he doesn’t even pay attention until a sales person calls at least 7 times. Most sales people give up after 2-3 attempts.

7. Slow down
Make a conscious effort to relax and speak clearly. Take a deep breath. Be confident and smile. They’ll hear it on the message you leave and will be more inclined to call you back. On the other hand, if you're nervous or rushed it just gives them a reason to delete your message and ignore you.

8. Smile
Be yourself. If you smile when you talk your voice will have a brighter, upbeat, tone making you sound more friendly and leading people to want to talk to you. Remember, it is not always what you say but how you say it.

9. Drop an octave
By talking slower and more relaxed you will naturally have a more resonate tone to your voice. That will be more pleasing and lead to more call backs.

10. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
You don't always have to be the smoothest talker. If you make a mistake make a little joke out of it and MOVE ON. DON'T DWELL on the mistake. People like talking to human beings. Knowing that you are human and not a slick talking sales machine will lower their defenses and they will be easier to talk to.

There are some tips for you. Feel free to share what works for you.
Thanks to Mike Carroll of Intelligent Conversations for contributing to this post.

Ev

Ask A Question: How to Link with People You Don't Know pt. 2

Like many of you who read my blog I get inundated with LinkedIn requests.
I wrote an article about my responses when people blindly try and contact me, plus other ways to get noticed on LinkedIn.
ask-questions
meet-them
bad-linkedin-responses

I was asked by someone who read the articles, how do I link with someone I don't know who might be able to help me?
Good question.

Here is another idea I use:

No matter if you are using LinkedIn, email, phone call, or meeting in person, ask the person you want to connect with a question about the industry that can help you, or on a common interest. Don't meander around in conversation. Get to the question as direct as you can.

Get their attention and make them interested in responding to you.
Be professional. Be polite. Know something about them that will get their interest (i.e. I just read your blog about _________. I liked your take on the issue but had a question), know what company they work for or the last company they were with, if there are any common connections, what groups they belong to. What events they are attending or were a presenter at. All of this information can be found on LinkedIn profiles, Facebook, other databases, Google searches, even common associates.

As an intelligent, open ended question about something you need to know about for either your job search or sales process. Show that you have some knowledge of the topic but that you see them as an expert and want their opinion.
If your question intrigues them and your intention of why you are asking is genuine, they will probably take your call, email, or maybe set up an appointment.

Give it a try.

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Meet Them: How to Get People You Don't Know to Link with You pt. 1

Like many of you who read my blog I get inundated with LinkedIn requests.
I wrote an article about my responses when people blindly try and contact me:
ask-questions
meet-them
bad-linkedin-responses
I was then asked the question, how do I link with someone I don't know who might be able to help me?
Good question.

Here is one idea I use:

Meet them where they are.

Look what groups they belong to. What events they are attending or being a presenter at.
Go to those places and introduce yourself.
Be professional. Be polite. Don't be a stalker.
Know something about them that will get their interest (i.e. I just read your blog about _________. I liked your take on the issue but had a question), know what company they work for or the last company they were with, what groups they belong to, or if we have any common connections.
Get their attention and make them interested in knowing you.

If I meet you casually at a networking event it isn't always enough for me to link with you based on that one meeting, but it does mean I will probably take your call, email, or maybe set up an appointment for coffee.
Any of those methods will work when it comes to seeing how we can help each other.
Give it a try.

Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Houston: Our Blog is Back

It isn't a perfect fix. I still don't know what is wrong, however the last few posts have gotten posted on time so I'm declaring this blog is back in business.
Thanks to everyone in Houston.

Side note, the movie Apollo 13 is 20 years old and the actual mission was 40 years ago, but try not tearing up with pride when you watch the clip below. I dare you!
Thanks for hanging in there with me!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

 

Never Lie to A Client

Ryan Braun lied.
Lied to all fans of the Milwaukee Brewers and all fans of baseball.
His credibility as a spokesman for the team and the city is shot.
His accomplishments as a baseball player are now questioned.
He's losing his endorsement deals.
He's damaged or lost friends and business relationships for years to come.

My Dad gave me this advice after I got my first job selling Kirby vacuum cleaners.
"Never lie to a client son. Clients can smell a lie from a salesman a mile away. If you don't know the answer to a client's question say you don't know it but you will find out the answer. Then be sure you get back to them with the answer in a timely manner!"

A sales manager I had once told me that if I didn't know the answer to "make one up."  He clarified that the answer should at least sound plausible. His reasoning was the quicker you knocked away a client's objection, the quicker you can get through all the objections and move on to the sale. Waiting to find an answer and trying to get back to a client will kill the momentum of the appointment and you might not ever get a chance again to talk to this person. While it is true that you might get only one chance to sell someone, dishonesty or trickery shouldn't be two of the tools you use to make the sale. 

I'm glad I follow my dad's advice. People appreciate honesty. In the end all you are really trading on is yourself and your reputation. Having a good reputation will make you money. Having a bad reputation will cost you money. Ask Ryan Braun. 

Ev  A Heck of A Nice Guy 

Ev note: I wrote an article about the zaniness of the Brewers players in 2011 and how they lost that mojo and I believe it was one of the reasons they lost the NLCS. funniest-team-around-until-they-lost-it  If you look at the timeline of the Braun saga, he was tested for drugs during the division playoff series with Arizona. The next series is the league championship against St. Louis. Milwaukee wins an emotional game 2, then comes out with no pep and no humor (remember the "beast mode") for the remainder of the series. I've always asked what happened to their humor. In my opinion Braun and some of his teammates knew he was caught and that ruined their mindset and affected the rest of the team by ruining their chemistry and karma. I can't prove it. Just an idea.

Bad LinkedIn Responses

I've written before on what make an effective LinkedIn Invitation:
what-makes-good-linkedin-invitation

Lately I've been swamped by LinkedIn invitations by people I do not know and have no connection with.The conversations usually start like this:

From unknown LI Member to me:
"Everet I want to add you to my LinkedIn network."

Since someone took the time to actually put my name in the invite I will look to see their profile and who they are.
If I can't make a logical connection as to why they are contacting me I will send out the following:

"Hi ________________,
I've been racking my brain trying to remember how we know each other. I don't want to sound rude or dumb, however can you please remind me how we know each other or tell me how I can help you?
Thank you,
Everet"

Here are some of the recent responses:

Everet,
Great memory, we've never met (that I know). As a job seeker, I am reaching out to recruiters as part of my job search.
As someone who had a brother who raced slot cars (many years ago), I thought it especially cool to connect with you.
Thanks,
D---- K----

Points for honesty. You're expanding your job search. You think I might be able to help. Problem for you is; I'm not a recruiter. If you read my profile you would know that. That immediately dismissed you.
You did pick up on my interest in slotcars and that is good and got my attention, however you told me it was your brother that raced them. No details on the kind of cars or tracks. Since it isn't you that share my hobby why would I connect with you? Your brother and I have have more in common it would seem.

I believe we are connected thru others on LinkedIn either thru different occupations or different levels of frfiends.
J-----

I looked. We have no common connections. I also don't have any "frfiends" in common with you. I forgive most spelling errors if you are someone I know, however if you are trying to establish a professional connection double check these short messages. Create a positive impression of yourself.

Everet,
We actually have never met, I am looking to expand my network in order to hopefully get my face and qualifications out into the market in order to hopefully find that stable position that I have been searching for the last couple of years. I am tired of taking jobs in order to be laid-off when there is a production shift or an ownership change.
Thank you and I hope you understand my desire to add you to the network,
W------ A----

Someone who is bitter and tired. Why would I want to add someone to my network that says those things when i haven't met them? I don't like being around negative people. Most people don't so why lead with your troubles.

LinkedIn is based on people being and acting in a professional manner. Just because you are not standing next to a person doesn't mean you can let your professional etiquette lapse.

For the follow up articles to this:
ask-questions
meet-them


Thanks!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Please PROOF your emails!

What does it say about you as a salesperson, recruiter, or job seeker when you make errors like these examples that were sent to me? My comments are in italics.
We're all human. I've done dumb things like this too.
This is a good reminder for all of us to double check our work.
Thanks!
Everet
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Hey Everet,
I just got your Massage (I never give men massages). I looked over the jobs you sent on Friday but I would like to try and find something closer to the WI & IL boarder.  I went and talk to  ______ the HR Director form my work about the AV job that will be opening up here soon. I will be having a interview as soon as it opens up. But I don't know when that will be. Last I have heard is they are fine tuning the job discrimination (Oh good. I hate it when companies have discrimination polices that are not fine tuned and discriminate in a general way). I am still looking for any jobs that would be out there.

Thanks,

Al D-------

(414) ---------

a-------@hotmail.com

Everete, (you've received hundreds of emails from me. How is my name spelled?)
Here is the job description. Please pass it along to anyone that is interested.
J_____

(Company Name) Help Desk Job Description:

A well recognized company is looking for a Help Desk resource to support the corporate environment from there (their!) local location (good I can't fill jobs that are not local). This individual will be responsible for providing primarily remote support to executives, field support, and other internal end users. The will be doing helpdesk (why is helpdesk one word here but two words above?) support, assets management, PC and printer support. This is Monday through Friday 8 to 5 opportunity. This is a long term opportunity with a possibility of going on permanent.

Required Skills for Help Desk Job:

• OTHER (Other? I qualify then!)
• HELPDESK
• ASSET MANAGEMENT
• PRINTER (I need a printer for this job?)
• IT SUPPORT

I Practice What I Preach: Creative Out of Office Message

Recently I went away on a weeks vacation for the first time in a long time.
I took advice from my own column:
have-great-out-of-office-email-message
I left this out-of-office message and a lot of people really liked it and appreciated the personality of it.
Ev

Hi!
You have almost reached Everet.
Thanks for your email.
While I know it is inconvenient – I do need to let you know I am not available to answer your emails until July 22nd.

Why?
I've heard tales of places with five foot high mice, giant dogs, and ducks that speak.
After years of hearing these tales I'm off to see if they are true.

I'm a client and I need to talk to you!
As you know my clients are my priority and I appreciate you to the ends of the world!
If you are one of my clients and need immediate help, please contact ____________,
at 414-2##-9### or #####@#####.edu

I'm a student and I need help!
Please see above or wait until I get back.
Remember ##### will be busier than normal without me, so don't run into the office screaming and yelling for her because she may be talking to someone else at the same time.
Bringing cookies would be a nice touch and a good way to start your conversation.

What is the realistic expectation for a response while you are gone?
None. I understand these giant mice, ducks, and dogs are shy. I don't want to spook them with beeps and dings from my phone going off while searching for them.

Isn't it going to be weird being unplugged in this digital world?
Yes. Good thing I have several years of practice.

I really do appreciate the time you took to email me. I will respond as quickly as possible.
Remember that Outlook only sends an out of office response once – so if you will need this contact information please save it to a document.
Thank you!
Everet