I Practice What I Preach: Creative Out of Office Message

Recently I went away on a weeks vacation for the first time in a long time.
I took advice from my own column:
have-great-out-of-office-email-message
I left this out-of-office message and a lot of people really liked it and appreciated the personality of it.
Ev

Hi!
You have almost reached Everet.
Thanks for your email.
While I know it is inconvenient – I do need to let you know I am not available to answer your emails until July 22nd.

Why?
I've heard tales of places with five foot high mice, giant dogs, and ducks that speak.
After years of hearing these tales I'm off to see if they are true.

I'm a client and I need to talk to you!
As you know my clients are my priority and I appreciate you to the ends of the world!
If you are one of my clients and need immediate help, please contact ____________,
at 414-2##-9### or #####@#####.edu

I'm a student and I need help!
Please see above or wait until I get back.
Remember ##### will be busier than normal without me, so don't run into the office screaming and yelling for her because she may be talking to someone else at the same time.
Bringing cookies would be a nice touch and a good way to start your conversation.

What is the realistic expectation for a response while you are gone?
None. I understand these giant mice, ducks, and dogs are shy. I don't want to spook them with beeps and dings from my phone going off while searching for them.

Isn't it going to be weird being unplugged in this digital world?
Yes. Good thing I have several years of practice.

I really do appreciate the time you took to email me. I will respond as quickly as possible.
Remember that Outlook only sends an out of office response once – so if you will need this contact information please save it to a document.
Thank you!
Everet