April Jokes 2013

Here are the jokes for April. Enjoy!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

What mouse doesn't eat cheese?

A computer mouse!

What rating do pirate movies have?

ARRRRRRRGH!

What is the best year for a kangaroo?

A leap year!

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because the kids have to play inside!

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

What do you call a box of ducks?

A box of quackers!

Name six things smaller than an ant's mouth?

Six of it's teeth!

I Puke on the Air

Not the most appetizing title for a post I know.
It is the 20th anniversary of a notorious event in Milwaukee history...
the Cryptosporidium outbreak of 1993.
Milwaukee-marks-20-years-since-cryptosporidium-outbreak

What does this have to do with sales or recruitment you might be asking yourself.
Not much except to point out that as sick as I was I still showed up and got my work done.
Plus by writing this 20 years later I get to remember how as a heavy metal fan I joked that playing easy listening music made me want to puke. Easy Listening Music got its revenge on me that night.

I was one of the 403,000 Milwaukee area residents who contracted the parasite in early April of 1993.
I was working the weekend overnight shifts as an announcer at WEZW 103.FM radio in downtown Milwaukee.
As you might imagine talking on the radio can make your throat dry, so per my usual routine I drank several glasses of water during my shift.
I was still in college at the time and as I got back to UW-Whitewater Sunday afternoon I didn't feel "quite right." Nothing specific just a nervous stomach and that feeling that I always needed to have a bathroom nearby. That feeling lasted the week. Slowly progressing each day as I felt a little worse.

The following Saturday night I arrive back at the WEZW studios about 9:30pm to start my 10pm-8am shift. Jim, the announcer who was ending his shift, told me that I looked a little pale.
He asked if he could get me something to help by going to a pharmacy. 
I told him about my week of feeling weird.
Of course by that time everyone in the city knew of the outbreak of Cryptosporidium in Milwaukee.
I lived in Whitewater. When Jim told me what was happening I didn't think I had it, after all the last time I drank Milwaukee water was a week ago and while I felt bad, I didn't have the diarrhea or vomiting that was being reported by Milwaukee residents.
I told Jim I would be fine and I appreciated his offer to help.
I drank a couple cups of water.
Jim left and I loaded up the CD players with songs by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap,
Sinead O'Connor, England Dan & John Ford Coley, and Barbara Streisand (yes, I was working at an easy listening music station).

As Barry Manilow's "Weekend In New England" ended, I turned on the microphone and welcomed everyone to the show, told them what songs were coming up and that I would be back with weather.
I broke out in an instant sweat. Stomach starts flops.
Commerical one ends.
Loud stomach gurgle.
Commerical two ends.
Stomach flops and gurgling. Burps start.
Station ID plays.
I burp and some bile comes into my mouth.
Hit the button that starts the weather music.
More bile.
Swallow it back down (gross but i couldn't spit it onto the control board or mic!)
I turn the mic back on and start reading the weather sponsor.
Stomach really churning now. 
I start reading the forecast.
Stomach does several violent flip flops.
I get the shakes.
I feel more stuff rising in my throat.
I try to read the weather and sponsor faster but all that comes out is gurgling (try talking while gurgling mouthwash and you'll get the idea).
I keep calm and slow my pace to get the last words out clearly.
Doesn't happen.
Gurgle. Gurgle. Gurgle.
As I say the last syllables of "Here's Barbara Streisand on Easy 104" spittle flies.

Not wanting to throw up on the control board, somehow I have the presence of mind to click off the microphone and remember that the garbage can in the station kitchen is tall and always has a plastic bag liner in it unlike the garbage can in the studio.
I run out of the studio to the kitchen, stick my head in the garbage can and puke like no tomorrow.


I hear over the station speakers Streisand's "Evergreen" end and the automatic CD changer click to Gary Puckett's version of "Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon," and throw up again.
Gasping for air, "Nothing Compared to You" from Sinead O'Connor plays.
More puke in the garbage can.
Rinsing my mouth out with water I drink a little bit.
Big mistake.
"Love is the Answer" by England Dan and Jon Ford Coley starts and you know what happens...

Since that is the last song loaded in the CD players I have to go back into the studio and load more songs otherwise there will be dead air.
Weak and with teary eyes from the force of vomiting, I struggle back into the studio.
I load up "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue" by Crystal Gayle,
B.J. Thomas' "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head," and 
"After The Lovin'" by Englebert Humperdinck.... and fall exhausted in the chair.

As the last song ends, I'm supposed to talk. I turn on the mic and immediately shut it off and run back to the garbage can hoping to be done before the group of commercials ends.
I make it back but can't think so I hit the station promo announcement and the next song.
I managed to make it for about 20 minutes until another wave of nausea crashed upon me.



To save you the play by play lets just say there was a third and fourth trip to the garbage can over the next hour.
I had violently thrown up a total of nine times.
Weak as I was I also remember my stomach feeling better.


I folded my arms on the control board and put my head on them, not lifting it at all for the next eight hours except to reload the CD players after every fourth song.
I managed to read the weather once in the 3am hour and to thank everyone for listening in the 5am hour as I switched over from music to our recorded Sunday morning public affairs shows.

Not wanting the next announcer to have to smell the mess, I lifted the heavy garbage bag out and put in a fresh liner. I remember the bag being very heavy.
Whether it was from all of my barf or because I was weak I don't know.
I do remember thinking "where am I going to put this bag?"
I took it out to the elevator in the hallway where I knew there was a janitorial closet.
There were a few bags of trash tied up there and I left my slimy bag with them and went back to the studio.



At 7:30am the next announcer, Bob, came in and saw my condition and told me to go home early.
I told him what happened and he said that the station gets its drinking water from the water plant on Milwaukee's south side, the same place where the outbreak started.
I stumbled out to my car and slept in the parking lot for an hour. I drove back to Whitewater but only got as far as the WalMart parking lot in Muskego before I had to sleep again I was so weak.
An hour later I made it back to my Whitewater apartment and slept.
The next day I was very weak but managed to eat pizza and sub sandwiches.
Two days later I finally felt completely normal again.

If you were reading this while eating...sorry for spoiling your meal.
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Man's Masters Dreams Come True

So imagine my cool surprise when I'm reading my morning paper (yes, I still subscribe to the tree killing edition of the newspaper) over breakfast and see an article about my brother-in-law's recent trip!
What does his story have to do with sales and recruiting?
One of the themes I've written about is the importance of networking:
Critical-actions-you-must-take-to build your network
Do-I-need-social-networking-to build my Network

Staying in touch with those you know is important professionally, but it is also important personally.
I'm glad they have such good friends and family.
Jeff's story is a great example of how his friends knew people, and because of those connections, could help arrange for this special trip.
I hope all of us have friends like this.
I'm glad he does.

Thanks guys for taking care of Jeff & Barb!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Brown Deer resident Jeff Seonbuchner (in wheelchair) attends the Masters with friends and family.

Mans-masters-dreams-come-true
Steve Stricker enhances the trip

by
Gary D'Amato
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

The Augusta National Golf Club was spread out like a rumpled emerald carpet under bright blue skies, the azaleas dazzling in early morning sunshine, expectations hanging like wisteria in the loblolly pines.
It was Saturday of the Masters Tournament, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

Jeff Seonbuchner of Brown Deer was taking it all in from a wheelchair, accompanied by his wife, Barb, and a special group of golf and sheepshead buddies who had lovingly arranged the trip.
Stricken with acute myeloid leukemia, Seonbuchner, 49, had been given between two and 10 months to live in December, after a bone marrow transplant failed.
There is no gentle way to put this: He is terminally ill.

"My friends asked me to put together a list of things I'd like to do before I go," Seonbuchner said in a telephone interview. "Attending the Masters was very high on my list."
Meeting Steve Stricker, a golfer he had long admired, was even higher.
Could his buddies pull it off?

Jim Grogan, the ringleader and a financial planner who counts Seonbuchner among his clients but more importantly among his friends, purchased the Masters tickets on the secondary market. They weren't inexpensive: $1,000 each for seven one-day tickets, $1,200 each for three more. Friends at Northwestern Mutual paid for lodging at a quiet cabin on a lake, halfway between Augusta and Atlanta.

There were challenges along the way.
When the group showed up at the ticket broker's house to pick up the tickets Friday night, he could not produce them. The passes were four-day badges and the broker was depending on each day's users to return them at night so he could re-issue them to the next day's users.
"It was chaos," Grogan said. "People were yelling and screaming. He was sending out bounty hunters to find the passes. As the bounty hunters came walking in, I kind of grabbed the 10 tickets."

Later that night, Jeff, who has trouble walking, fell down some stairs at the cabin but luckily was unhurt.
The biggest challenge, however, was getting Stricker's attention before the third round of the Masters. Grogan, whose brother, Tim, competed in tournaments with Stricker years ago and is now a PGA professional, had sent emails in advance to Stricker but received no response.
Finally, Nicki Stricker emailed Grogan and said the best chance to meet her husband would be to wait for him at the driving range about an hour before his tee time.
He would be preoccupied, of course, but maybe he'd have time to stop and say hello.
"There were no guarantees," Grogan said.

Now, they were waiting, Seonbuchner in the area reserved for wheelchairs, his buddies sitting in the huge grandstand behind the driving range.
An hour before his tee time Stricker walked onto the range.
"Hey, Steve," Grogan called out. "I'm Jim Grogan; my brother is Tim."
Stricker immediately walked over.
"Hey, buddy," he said. "Where's your friend?"
Grogan pointed to Seonbuchner and what happened next was extraordinary. Stricker went over to Seonbuchner, got on his knees and the two spent a few minutes in quiet conversation.

"We didn't really have a lot of time," Seonbuchner said. "He was getting ready to play. He wanted to let me know he was rooting for me. We exchanged pleasantries.
"I didn't get to explain this to him, but we had some small ties. I'm a little older than Steve and I never got to play with him growing up, but I did play with Skip Kendall."
Thousands of fans in the grandstand recognized something special was happening. No other player that morning had stopped to talk to Seonbuchner.
"The crowd is watching and you could sense they were paying attention," Grogan said. "What Stricker was doing was really, really unusual. After he stood up, everybody started applauding. They were yelling, 'Way to go, Steve.' The fans knew what was going on.
"We were all watching this and bawling."

The rest of the day was magical. Stricker shot a 71 and moved to within striking distance on the leader board (though he would close with a 75 on Sunday and finish in a tie for 20th place).
Seonbuchner's buddies took turns pushing him in the wheelchair. Stricker saw them after he birdied the second hole, walked over and gave Seonbuchner a high-five. He saw them a few holes later and acknowledged Jeff again.

Seonbuchner's friends had bought a hospitality package so they'd have a place to go if Seonbuchner tired. He would have none of it.
"Jeff was rejuvenated," Grogan said. "He wanted to watch Steve play. After the seventh hole, Stricker was walking past and Jeff said, 'Keep it going, Steve.' He heard him, turned around and came back and thanked Jeff for following him."

Finally, the last golfers had finished their rounds. It was 7 p.m. and daylight was fading. It was time to leave Augusta National, time to take a part of it with them.
"It really was a wonderful experience," Barb Seonbuchner said. "Everyone was very polite, from the bathroom attendants to the pro shop people to the marshals. I think it's every golfer's dream to touch the grass and be part of that scene. And Steve was very kind to spend time with Jeff."

Seonbuchner, struggling to talk on the phone, described the day in three words:
"It was unbelievable."
And of his friends, who have been at his side for years, were at his side at Augusta National and will be at his side for whatever comes next, he said this: "Special people."
Special, indeed.

Thanks Gary D'Amato for writing this story!
Ev

Update 5/15/2013
His last words to me were "take care of the family." We will my brother, we will.
Your family is in good hands. Rest in Peace now. Your long struggle is over.
Jeff Seonbuchner 1963-2013

Millennials Fire Back

I published an article about how Millennials see job tenure.
job-tenure-millennials-perspective 
It was Tweeted and Shared by several of you.
This video was sent back to me (Thanks JK!) and I thought it was fair to share and hear the other side.
Thanks!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Why Newspaper Job Ads are Dead pt. 2: Revenue & Price

This article is part two of four titled "Why Newspaper Job Ads are Dead."
In these articles I'm not trying to say or analyze that newspapers are dead as a whole, I'm only referring to newspapers as a recruitment tool.
My opinions are based in the facts I uncovered and the fact that I lived and worked through these events and is my perspective on them in this four part series.
To read the other parts click below:
pt. 1: A Local Perspective
(other links will appear here as the articles are published)

Newspapers lost their place as king of the recruitment tools for three reasons:
1. declining revenue because of local job websites which led to the loss of a key differentiating factor
2. Price
3. Rise of online and mobile technologies

The first reason newspapers lost their place as the dominate force in recruitment advertising is declining revenue because of internet competition.
This may sound like an obvious statement today, but remember the internet really didn't start hitting the public till 1995.

In 1997 I was the third person hired at a start up internet company called Job Connection.
Job Connection took a look at the national job boards that were just beginning at that time and decided that local internet recruitment was going to be the big thing of the employment world. Something that would fundamentally change the way people found a job.
They, and lots of others nationwide, were right.

I was told by my bosses at Job Connection that classified advertising at the local
Milwaukee newspaper, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, made up  about $100 million in revenue for the paper in 1997.
About $85 million was coming from employment ads.
I would like to point out that I have at present no 1997 numbers to prove that either way, however it is a reasonable conclusion for them at the time given that in 2000 Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel classified advertising revenue was $85.4 million and employment classifieds were responsible for $70.2 million (source:http://www.putnampit.com/milwaukeepress/jssuit.htm).
The Job Connection owners wanted to tap into two tenths of that revenue ($200,000) as a goal for our company.

As the only salesman I accomplished that goal and then doubled it in 1999. Our team expanded to an additional salesperson and we were able to double that goal again in 2000 and were coming close to beating that goal in 2001. At the time Job Connection was the biggest local job board in terms of postings and clients (MilwaukeeJobs took over the top spot in 2001). Given what I know of the competition at the time, I would assume that the three job boards took between $500,000-$1,000,000 in revenue from the newspaper each year from 1998-2000. That figure probably doubled in 2001 with MilwaukeeJobs coming into the picture. $2 million doesn't seem like much compared to $85 million, but that number grew as $2-4 million in annual revenue was being taken by local job boards. Add on top of that the monies spent on national job boards like Monster and Career Builder, and niche job boards like LatPro, Dice, and Jobs4Sales, and you're looking closer to $10 million being lost to internet job boards in the area.

Some of you might be thinking that taking 10 million dollars in an industry where the local paper is still pulling 75 million dollars isn't going to kill newspaper advertising.
It was a start. Remember this was the period of 1997-2001.
The internet boom was on!
Remember all the DotCom companies that were popping up?
The fuel they provided for the economic boom of the late 1990's?
Now days we look back and wonder how did we ever live without our internet connections?  Why were so many companies trying the internet and taking budget away from the newspaper? There was a talent shortage going on (and still is).
Companies were searching for other ideas to reach job seekers.
Companies were willing to try anything to find the employees they needed.

Local internet job boards like WiJobs.com and JobConnection.net were able to position themselves as local alternatives to the local newspaper.
At this time companies were still telling me they "had to be in the newspaper," but they were seeing declining applicants but not enough to give up the paper entirely.
They were willing to try anything, even something as unproven as the internet.
Companies had heard of the national sites like Monster or Career Builder, but thought they were only for big national companies not the little local companies.
When the local internet companies opened up that gave them an outlet to try recruiting on the web. Local companies had a local rep, me, that they could call and an office that was near them to respond to their questions and to build a relationship with. Plenty of companies were skeptical, but that local presence made this new idea less scary.

Price was another factor. Internet ads were usually $100-$300 with full color and were unlimited in size. You could ad color, pictures, logos, anything that could be placed in the ad. 
The same money might buy you a 15 line classified ad.
No pictures. No color.
Placement on the website didn't usually matter as much as in a newspaper. 
Online a small company with a small budget was treated the same as large companies with large budgets. A small retail store could compete equally with a retail giant chain because the cost of getting their ads noticed with additional services like homepage logos and featured ads were affordable to all.
Ads on the front page of the employment section could often run $25,000. That same price could get a company several years of unlimited job ads on many local and national websites.

The factors of talent shortage, new technology (the web), and price all led to more and more companies trying the internet job boards.
So how do we get from $75 million being spent on local newspaper recruitment ads in 2000 to almost nothing today?
Don't forget that 2000 was the last year of the great Y2K hiring boom.
In 2001 classified advertising revenue fell to $67.9 million with $51.6 million coming from employment ads. This was the start of the recession following 9/11/2001 and also the end of the internet boom.(sources: http://www.putnampit.com/milwaukeepress/jssuit.htm
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/PrintArticle/-Milwaukee-Journal-Sentinel-Parent-Revenue-Down-3-1-In-January).

This first recession of the 21st century came on faster than anyone thought. Companies had to trim fast. A logical place to cut was newspaper classifieds.
Internet sites got cut too, but not as bad.
Companies weren't spending $5,000 on an annual internet posting plan, but they were spending money on smaller posting plans because they still needed to replace workers from time to time. When that recession went away, companies were still reluctant to give up their newspaper adverting entirely, but it was much reduced because they saw they could get just as good if not better results from internet job boards. They also had to trim payroll and learned they could get away with less people so they didn't need to advertise as much.

Then came the boom years of 2003-2008. Companies needed to hire again. There was still a talent shortage, and there was the birth of social media sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. This time companies didn't cut money from internet job boards to try these sites, when needed they took more from their newspaper budget (while social media sites are free for subscribers, often there is a cost for companies to set up corporate recruitment pages or to pay consultants to tell them what and how to place content on these sites).

Then the roof fell in in 2008 with the start of the "great recession" whose impact we are still feeling today in 2013. Companies cut everything and everywhere they could.
This time newspapers, national job boards, and local job boards were cut.
Newspapers folded (pun intended) or went to digital editions only.
National job boards sought partnerships or were even being sold (http://www.ere.net/2012/03/22/monster-for-sale-buy-all-or-part-offers-accepted/),
and local job boards folded or were sold (MilwaukeeJobs.com being the only all purpose local job board being left in Wisconsin).

So far I haven't found an exact total for the classified advertising revenue for 2012 to compare the previous stats to, however I can rely on my own eyes and the paper I subscribe to. What was a 64 page Sunday employment section in 1998, is about three pages today. Wow.

Thanks for reading!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Everet Interviews Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch

 

Everet Interviews Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch at graduation before her commencement speech. Just a quick question. Nothing earth shattering, but she agreed to answer a question on camera and had never met me before I asked if I could put her on film. A very nice politician who gave a good positive speech to the grads about moving into the world of work.
Thanks Lieutenant Governor Kleefisch!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy 

 

Job Tenure: A Millennial’s Perspective

I'm not a "millennial" but I work with several trying to place them in jobs. I also work with the employers who are frustrated at not understanding them and their work ethic. If you are like one of those employers here is a little insight. If you are a Millennial, understand that the way you see the world is not the way they see you and you have to combat that. Thanks for the article Shala!
Ev

Job Tenure: A Millennial’s Perspective

job-tenure-a-millennials-perspective/ by Shala Marks

To stay at my current job or not to stay, that is the question. Here are the facts:
-According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of January 2012, today’s average worker stays at each of his or her jobs for 4.6 years, a .2 increase from the median tenure two years earlier.

-According to the Future Workplace Multiple Generations @ Work survey, a whopping 91 percent of Millennials — those born between 1977 and 1997 — anticipate to stay at a job for less than three years. As Future Workplace Partner Jeanne Meister put it, “That means they (Millennials) would have 15 – 20 jobs over the course of their working lives!”

-According to the 2012 Candidate Behavior Study by CareerBuilder and Inavero, 81 percent of Millennials are either actively searching for new jobs or are open to new opportunities, regardless of their current employment status.
So, the notion out there is that Millennials are “job-hoppers.” I’ve heard it all: Millennials lack work ethic, we aren’t ready for “real” jobs, we’re spoiled, we don’t want to pay our dues… the list can go on and on.
Now, I cannot speak for every Millennial, but as a former journalism major in school, I witnessed countless peers of mine who were willing to live off of $17,000/year to be the lowly entry-level worker in a newsroom, or move to a small town in the middle of nowhere to become a reporter at a local TV station. And I know many who are doing these things and more; many Millennials are starting at the bottom and working their way up, without complaining.
Are we more likely to change jobs after one or two years? Or seek advancements (high positions) in a company even though we haven’t been there that long? Do we request more pay as months go by? The answer is “yes” to all of the above.
Why, you ask? Well, we simply have a different perspective.

Before I graduated and was about to head off to the big city for my first post-college internship, my supervisor gave me some advice. He said:
If you’re unhappy at a job and you aren’t having fun and don’t enjoy your work, leave. I don’t care how much money you make. If it’s not fun, you get out. Life is too short not to do what you love.
His advice reflects what so many of us Millennials have been reared on our entire lives. Just look at our values:
-According to the Talent Report: What Workers Want in 2012 report by NetImpact, 73 percent of Millennials reported that a job where they can make an impact is essential to their happiness compared to just 53 percent of other workers. This requirement came third with only marriage and financial security above it.
A prestigious career, wealth, children and community leadership each followed.
Pertaining to an ideal job, Millennials reported the following factors as non-negotiable:
-Work/life balance (88 percent)
-Positive culture (91 percent)
-Employer has similar values (74 percent)
-Make a better world (65 percent)

So, what do all these stats tell you? Millennials want to enjoy life and a huge part of that is having a career that not only makes a difference, but is balanced with all other areas of their lives. If we aren’t getting that from one job, we will not hesitate to seek it from another.

Now don’t get me wrong, Millennials were taught to tough it out, not make hasty decisions and the value in working hard now even in a situation that’s not ideal to get to where you desire to be someday. But, unlike the mindset of other generations, we aren’t going to let that process go on for years and years.
Millennials were constantly told that we are the future. We are the innovators, the creators, the next businessmen and businesswomen. That we have the power to direct our lives and that no dream is too big and no standard is set to high. That’s why you’re bound to see many of us ditch corporate America to become entrepreneurs or go down uncommon career paths, especially for young people. It’s because the ideas of pursuing passions at all costs and doing what you love is true success are engrained in us.
I believe a lot of things in society have a “norm” or common way they should occur, and when something or someone comes and breaks the norm, it can be viewed as negative. Difference and change are not negatives though but where the most innovations take place.

Just because Millennials may not want to work the typical 9-5, or are prone to going from job to job doesn’t mean we aren’t hard workers, nor that we won’t be successful. Most Millennials I know (including me) desire to do uncommon things, meaning we may have to take uncommon career paths, often times defining our own.

March 2013 Newsletter

Greetings!

Spring is here (we hope!).

Many of you contributed to some very popular posts.

In case you missed them here are a few of them.

Enjoy the links and topics for this month.

Feel free to search my blog for other topics you’re interested in.

Baseball is back! Go Brewers!

  

More Lame Job Seeker Stories

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/lame-job-seeker-stories.html

2 Killer Questions Great Recruiters Ask Every Time:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/2-killer-questions-great-recruiters-ask.html

Very Bad Email Addresses:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/very-bad-email-addresses.html

Mom Hits A Salesman:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/mom-hits-salesman.html

Jokes:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/february-jokes-2013_28.html

Why I write This Blog and Email?

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/12/why-i-write-this-blog.html

Thank you for Everything!

Everet Kamikawa

"A Heck of A Nice Guy"