September 2012 Jokes

Here are the jokes for this month. Always clean enough to tell your mother.
For the first time, all the jokes are ones submitted by readers.
Thank you!
IF you have any jokes to share for the next month please feel free to leave a comment!
Enjoy!
Ev

When chemists die, they barium.  (thanks to W.F. for this one)

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. (and to W.F. for this one)

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. (yet another W.F. gem)

My bother is a professional boxer.”
“Heavyweight?”
“No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death.”

(Thanks to JQ for this one)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

(Thanks to M.P. for the above) 

September 2012 Newsletter

Photo of Ray Allen by Everet Kamikawa

Greetings!

It is mid-September and I hope things are well with you!

If you are interested in an article click on the link and it will open for you.

Mr. Rogers reminds us to “plant the garden of your mind”

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/plant-garden-of-your-mind.html

Get A Good Business Card

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/get-good-business-card.html

If You Want To Keep A Secret Don’t Tell the Boss

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/if-you-want-to-keep-secret-dont-tell.html

Jokes:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/august-2012-jokes.html

There are other articles as well so please feel free to search my blog.

  

Thanks for reading and contributing over the last 13 years!

Have a great rest of September!

Everet Kamikawa

"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

5 Ways to Effectively Use Twitter to Land Your Next Job

I like to repost articles like this one from time to time. not only is it good advice if you are looking for a job, but often times if you reverse engineer advice you can see how to attract better candidates or clients too.
Thanks!
Ev

 

5 Ways to Effectively Use Twitter to Land Your Next Job5-ways-to-effectively-use-twitter-to-land-your-next-job

By Carrie Smith
When Twitter first came onto the scene, not many people could have guessed it would become the social powerhouse it is today. I know I didn’t. But now it’s become one of my favorite tools to find clients and land new jobs.
While other social media platforms like Facebook are about connecting with people you already know, Twitter is all about finding new connections and potential clients. About 80% of the social media and freelance jobs I've acquired have been through Twitter. Here are some of my favorite tips to help you use Twitter to land your next job.

Use the Hashtag Feature
If you’re looking for valuable information concerning your job search, this is a great place to start. The hashtag feature on Twitter offers both job openings and general job search advice. By using the number sign with corresponding searches like #jobs, #jobadvice, #jobhunt and #jobsearch you’ll be able to use this feature like a regular search engine.
This will help you really hone in on the specific job you’re hoping to land. This is also a great way to locate job openings within your industry and to get on the radar of the person who’s looking to hire. If you can connect with the hiring manager on a personal level, through Twitter, you’ll have a better chance of getting the position.
Plus, a lot of companies post their job openings on social media before they post them on job boards, so you'll have the upper hand with that as well.

Attend a Twitter Chat
Almost every day of the week there's a Twitter chat going on, referencing any given subject. A Tweet chat is a live Q&A session that typically discusses specific niche or industry issues, and can cover everything from career advice to project management. It’s a great way to conduct live conversations with people you might never be able to otherwise.
Some of the most popular job related chats include #jobhuntchat, #careerchat, #internchat and #hirefriday all of which provide invaluable tips and leads to help you land a job. Getting involved with industry chats is the perfect way to show your expertise in a particular field and present yourself as a knowledgeable person.

Build a Supportive Network
As I mentioned, Twitter is all about networking, so building a network is a vital part of finding the right kind of job. When you’re searching for a new job day in and day out, it can get overwhelming, stressful and discouraging. But thanks to Twitter you can start building a solid support system that will encourage you every step of the way. Your network can also share their advice, tips and tricks about what they’ve learned.
These days getting a good job is all about who you know, and getting them to recommend you for a job. Not only will your network sympathize with the stressful job hunting process, they can also keep an eye out for new job openings and offer invaluable career advice.

Locate Industry Conferences
Twitter makes keeping tabs on local conferences and seminars very simple and is one of the best ways for jobseekers to network with influential industry colleagues. Whether you’re attending the conference or not, you can still contribute to the conversation by getting active with attendees using the appropriate hashtag for that conference.
You can stay up-to-date with the goings on via the web and tweet along with other attendees and important professionals in your field. Many times the conversations that you start on Twitter will translate into future opportunities or even long-lasting business or personal relationships.

Find the Best Career Advice  
The learning and networking shouldn’t stop once we land a job. Managing your career is a constant process. With hashtags such as #career, #resume and #employment you can stay up-to-date on the issues you and others face in the workplace every day.
This is a great way to keep tabs on your favorite companies, learn more about where your industry is headed and to become the go-to person for valuable information! With the increasing popularity of Twitter, job seekers and recruiters alike are turning to this social network to find leads. Get a leg-up on the competition by using these tips to land your next job!

Carrie Smith is the personal finance expert behind CarefulCents.com, a blog dedicated to helping people get out of debt and find a career they love. She’s also a social media lover who enjoys traveling. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Lifehacker and Yahoo! Finance.

The China I Know

 A job candidate came into my office and said he didn't want to work for a company because he heard that when they downsize people "they do it in a cruel way. No warning. Nothing. You just show up and are gone." I asked where he heard that from. He said that "a friend of a friend who knew someone told him that."

One of the ways to get into a company, whether it is to work for them or to sell them something is to talk to someone that already works there. You're using them to gather intelligence or in job seeker terms, an informational interview. The candidate's comment was interesting because it reminded me of what my friend Tony Perkins just wrote in his blog. This is a good source of intelligence if I was going to China. I'll show you an example of how not to research a company and try and get intelligence in a future post.
Thanks to you and to Tony for letting me republish this!
Ev

The-China-I-Know
by Tony Perkins

The China I Know

I regret to say I am ending this blog and returning to the United States. In doing so, I hope that what I've written will give any reader considering a trip to China something to think about. Beijing has a relatively tiny district filled with shiny new skyscrapers and modern architecture, but that is far from the truth. Living in the capital was like being developmentally-disabled and living in New York City. There is always a portion of the population that wants to take advantage of the situation. They can't help themselves.


Not everyone has had the same experience, and I freely admit mine was more uncomfortable than most, due to my unique circumstances arriving and living here. I didn't have a lot of time to think about moving to Beijing, and most of the people whom I turned to for advice, some of whom had lived and worked in China, were comprehensively and dramatically wrong. And as a result, I will soon leave this country after four and a half years with a negatively-skewed perspective of what it's like.

The noisy nose-clearing, the spitting, the public urination, the children without pants, the cutting in line, the unreliable internet, the government demanding silly apologies for insulting the nation's pride, all the things that belie China's claim to be a civilized nation rising to greatness in the 21st century. This is the China I know.

But I also know that for every aspect of Chinese life that I find lousy, disgusting, or simply unlikeable, there is a good and solid reason. I don't think the cultural behavior I've seen is correct, but I think I understand.

Occasionally, a landlord discovers he can make more money renting his apartment to a business and he kicks his resident tenants to the curb. This doesn't mean Chinese are greedy, they simply want to acquire as much cash as they can, as soon as they can. Accumulation of individual wealth is relatively new to this culture, but very important. You just never know how much is enough. I think I understand.

Every few seconds, a Chinese man feels a need to make a sound in his throat like starting a chainsaw, cough up mucous and spit it out in a massive loogie on the sidewalk. I'm told the Beijing air is thick with pollutants that wreck havoc on the respiratory system. I think I understand.

From time to time, a Chinese person is ignorant of everyone around her and simply shoves her way to the front of a line for fruits, vegetables, a shiny object, whatever. When this person was a child, she probably saw her parents approaching a similar line which was suddenly closed when they arrived, whatever goods being offered no longer available. Her adult behavior is rude and disrespectful to others, but I think I understand.

The problems I encountered here were caused by heightened expectations. A top-tier international city like Beijing was not supposed to be like this. True, it wasn't going to be Paris, but it wasn't supposed to be Phnom Penh either.

For those who arrive after I leave, whether for tourism or for business, maybe they will see a different view. But for me, Beijing came up short, serving as the unfortunate template for the China I know.

5 Worst Career Change Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Fall is when a lot of companies hire before shutting down for the holidays. Reason being  they can get good talent and get them trained so they can be fully up to speed by the time the new year starts. It is also the time when a lot of candidates start looking. Summer is over. Vacations are done. Kids back in school.
If you are looking, here is some advice by Annie Favreau of Inside Jobs.
Thanks!
Ev

The 5 Worst Career Change Mistakes and How to Avoid Them5-worst-career-change-mistakes-and-how-to-avoid-them

By Annie Favreau

Are you ready to take your career in a new direction? Maybe you’re unsatisfied in your current role. Maybe you’ve been off of the job market for a while. Maybe you’re simply ready to find a job that’s a better fit for who you are.
Whatever your reasons, changing careers can be incredibly rewarding. But big transitions aren’t always easy. Before striking out on a new path, you’ve got to learn how to avoid these five common career change mistakes, so you can make a successful switch.

Mistake #1: Leaping Before You Look
If you just leap into a new career without any reflection on what wasn’t working in the last one, you’re sure to repeat old mistakes. Take time to figure out why you want to change. What specifically about your current position, team, or industry is causing concern?
It’s equally essential to spend time identifying your strengths, interests, and—most importantly—values. Knowing what you want from a new career is just as crucial as knowing what you don’t want.

Mistake #2: Sticking to the Familiar
Don’t limit yourself to career options that are familiar or popular. In particular, don’t pick a career just because you have friend who’s been successful in that area. Changing careers is all about finding a new path that’s right for you. And sometimes that means exploring further off the beaten track.

Mistake #3: Focusing too much on Practicalities or on Passion
If you only focus on the practicalities—what job will make the most money and give me the best benefits?—you’re likely to end up in a career you don’t enjoy. In the long run, this can take a high toll on your personal happiness and health.
On the other hand, you don’t want to blindly pursue a passion that won’t pay the bills. The key is finding a balance between what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and what people will pay you to do.

Mistake #4: Not Investing in Your Education
Not every career change requires a new certificate or degree, but it’s important to make sure you have the right skills and qualifications for your new job. For many people, continuing education is the right choice. Don’t go back to school without a clear plan (see Mistake #1), but recognize that training—whether through internships, certificates, or a new degree—can be an investment in your future.

Mistake #5: Expecting Change to Happen Overnight
Career changes aren’t quick-fix situations—successful transitions take work and dedication. But remember: during your lifetime, you’ll spend an average of 90,000 hours on the job. Isn’t it worth it to find a career that works for you?

What’s the best piece of career change advice you’ve ever gotten?
Annie Favreau works for Inside Jobs, a career exploration site that helps people figure out what they want to become and find the right education to make it happen.

 

Where You Place Ads Counts

When recruiting it is important to make sure what you have in your ad will attract the correct type of candidate, but also WHERE your ad appears will determine what type of candiates you will attract. Below is an ad from Craig's List. In terms of an ad it meets a lot of the criteria for a good ad that I've written about before. The question for you is, would you want YOUR ad to appear next to this one? Do you mind if your ad is thrown into a jumble of other ads, or do you want to appear in a section where you might be next to several competitors for the same type of candidate bit in a place that attracts people with the talent you are looking for?

If you're an attorney looking to take on cases like this, this person might be interested in hearing from you.
Thanks for reading!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

In Case You can't read the ad above, the text is below:

Attorney to file suit to bring God back (Anyway In USA)

---

Date: 2012-09-01, 4:47AM CDT
Reply to: m2scz-3243041945@job.craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

I want to sue to bring God back to our class rooms. I am seeking a Lawyer who can make the argument and file and file and file until we succeed.
Need a willing and able Lawyer, to listen to my ideas on how to bring God back! Need a Lawyer willing to go balls out to put God back where he fits and belongs, a Lawyer that will demand changes that many will not like.
There is a way, I need help! Thank you so very much, God of your choice bless you!

• Location: Anyway In USA
• Compensation: A place in history a place in heaven a place in my heart!
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 3243041945

---

• Copyright © 2012 craigslist, inc.

September 11th: The 11th Anniversary

We tend to celebrate or recognize anniversaries at milestone numbers.
1, 5, 10, 15, 20, etc.
This is the 11th anniversary of the attacks on our country on September 11, 2001.
No matter what the number I think it is important to remember this and other dates (June 6, December 7, August 6 & 9, July 1-4, plus others) and recognize them every year for what they mean to our country.
Below are two links for what I wrote last year about this date in our history. Still as true as when I wrote them a year ago:

i-dont-want-to-forget-911-memories

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-dont-want-to-forget-911-images.html

Thanks!

Ev

Never Care More Than Your Clients

A longtime client of mine, Jerry B., once told me when we were talking about a business issue at lunch, "Everet. Never care more about a project than your client. If you do it will drive you crazy."
He's absolutely right.

As a recruiter have you ever had the job candidate that was a perfect match for a company? You're excited and you tell the candidate about it and they do nothing to grab that opportunity?
Meanwhile the client wants to hire someone and they hire a different person because your candidate didn't follow up like they were supposed to, leaving you mad enough to chew glass.
OR
As a salesperson have you ever had a client that clearly could benefit and even needed your product but don't act on that need? You pitch it to them and they just don't care to make a decision, and leave you twisting in the wind clenching your fists saying "why don't they see they need this now!

In these situations Jerry's advice is absolutely true. How much time and energy have you wasted on situations like the ones above. Worry. Consternation. Confusion. Anger. These lead down the path to the dark side. Use that energy to instead find new clients or candidates that are excited about your opportunities.
Your sanity, spirit, and bank account will be better off.

Thanks!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

Managers: Praise Them!

My son tied his shoes by himself today. As a parent you sometimes forget everything one has to do to become a person as you grow up so you learn to celebrate the little things we take for granted.
My son was so happy and I was so happy for him. I gave him probably 10 high fives. He had the biggest grin on his face as he went to school.

Managers! Your staff is the same way! Don't give them false praise for the daily activities that they are supposed to do, but then they triumph and land an account they have been working on, or learned a new way to overcome an objection, or in any way go above and beyond be sure to recognize that. Often people will work harder for recognition than they will for money.

Besides the smile it puts on their face, it can inspire the team to know they will be recognized for their work which leads to increased productivity and better top line results. It also will make you feel good as you get recognized for leading this inspired team!

Thanks!
Ev
A Heck of A Nice Guy

August Newsletter

Greetings!

You’ve probably been wondering all month, “Where is my August newsletter from Everet?”

I apologize. Vacations have a way of screwing up time tables sometimes.

If you are new to my email newsletter, I’ve included a link to why you might find this newsletter helpful.

If you are interested in an article click on the link and it will open for you.

Don’t say “perfectly honest”

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/07/perfectly-honest.html

Vacuum Cleaner Hoses teach sales lesson

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/07/vacuum-cleaner-hoses-teach-sales-lesson.html

7 things you are doing wrong on LinkedIn

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/07/7-thing-you-are-doing-wrong-on-linkedin.html

Why read my newsletter or blog?

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/06/why-this-blog.html

Jokes:

http://everetsblog.blogspot.com/2012/07/july-2012-jokes.html

There are other articles as well so please feel free to search my blog.

  

Thanks for reading and contributing over the last 13 years!

Have a great September!

Everet Kamikawa

"A Heck of A Nice Guy"