Monday, January 17, 2011

Constructing Billy Skywalker's Resume: The Set Up




Enjoy this series.
It was fun writing it.
Ev
"A Heck of A Nice Guy"

The smoke from the saliva soaked cigar rose from between the aged fingers of his right hand and blended with the plumes of smoke and stale perfume already in the air.
A tug on the back of the shirt of the grizzled bartender brought him another mug of dunkel ale so thick one would easily mistake it for mud.

"That no good smart alec," he thought sipping his drink.
Somewhere in the cantina the band started playing what sounded like a star trek theme.
"Lucky punk. Never knows how good he has it here. Always wants to go fly away with his friends and pick up power converters and pretend he some hot shot imperial pilot. Mom marries that Lars guy and my half brother gets to go and live with him on that moisture farm. I stay in town and help dad run the engine repair shop. He never concentrates on where he is and what he is doing. He should get a real job like I did after dad died. Sales. Now that is a skill you can take anywhere in the galaxy and use. Not fixing droids."

He continued to scan the digital type pad when an ad caught his eye:

Do you have experience selling what many think are lost causes?
Can you convince presidents, emperors, military officers, and weapons manufactures that your cause is just and will prevail?
The Galactic Rebel Alliance wants you to be a part of our supply procurement team!
Running a rebellion isn't easy.
We need every kind of supply you can think of from toilet paper to the latest space fighter technology that can defeat Imperial TIE-fighters.
Your job will not be easy.
You'll be calling on nefarious characters in seedy domains.
You need to be able to keep their confidence and their identities strictly confidential even under possible Imperial torture if you are caught.
If you have a keen eye for quality equipment manufacturing, and for negotiating equipment sales prices far below what the seller wants, we want to talk to you!
Your budget is in the millions but not unlimited.
Hours are what you set, but can be long if in the middle of a deal.
Frequent travel is required as you will either be looking for new suppliers or running from the Imperials.
Candidates with smuggler connections preferred.
The benefits are:
-a comfortable home at our hidden base
-20% commission on savings to the rebellion per deal
-Helping free the galaxy
If you have what it takes to help equip our cause, send resume and cover letter to:
RA Sales
P.O. Box 3263827
Mos Eisley, Tatoonie
Maybe Luke is right. He thought. Maybe this planet is farthest from the center of the universe. Inspired he stood up from his bar stool, "I'M GOING TO APPLY!" Billy Skywalker shouted as his stool fell backwards from the rapidity of his rise off the seat with the legs catching him behind the knees and knocking him backwards onto the spit and vomit stained rock floor. His drink not far behind.

"Now just wait one parsec," said Bobby Solo as he stuck his hand out to help his friend up. "I know what you were reading and your resume stinks. You'll never get the job with that scrap."

"If I can sell diet drinks to Jabba and the rest of the Hutt clan I can surely raise money for the alliance to buy them ships and weapons," said Skywalker in an embarrassed hush. "Plus I know your brother Han so there is my smuggler connection. A 20% commission! That is unheard of in these parts!"

"There's a chance you could die too if the storm troopers catch you," said Solo.
Skywalker retorted.
"No chance. Those troops are so dumb if you lock your door when they are coming to your house they won't come in and just move on to the next house."

"Okay of you are sure you want to do this," Solo sighed. "I better help you with your resume. My brother is the smuggler but who do you think gets him hired for those jobs? I'm the respectful one. Lets grab a table so these other monsters won't steal my ideas for you."

"Deal. Bartender! Two more ales!"
Skywalker fished through his pockets looking for money.
"Never mind I'll get it," said Solo as he flipped the bartender two coins.
"Sorry about the mess."


This is a nine part series on how to write a good resume.
Here are links to the other parts:
Pt. 2 Career Objective
Pt. 3 Education
Pt. 4 Length
Pt. 6 Detailed Bullet Points
Pt. 7 Age
Pt. 8
No Experience
Pt. 9
Final Resume

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